tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2841427884479109882024-03-04T20:45:26.171-08:00Thoughts on a Lifelong JourneyAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-41206734973231003262016-07-23T10:25:00.000-07:002016-07-23T10:25:44.365-07:00Community, Communion, and a Vision of Zion<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVBnSZ1LI-hmiwz7GPCfiC2Assp7YOjj63NkiE6CQpIcdU8bxR6MBo19OVDswUAd9LR3TnB5VGDsmwJ5PaeTJqVcYFnGD8_u8WH9e2Pvsk0gxf4GULoFb0E0uO0TYp_dz8QnGfY7c5yTpD/s1600/tindependence12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVBnSZ1LI-hmiwz7GPCfiC2Assp7YOjj63NkiE6CQpIcdU8bxR6MBo19OVDswUAd9LR3TnB5VGDsmwJ5PaeTJqVcYFnGD8_u8WH9e2Pvsk0gxf4GULoFb0E0uO0TYp_dz8QnGfY7c5yTpD/s320/tindependence12.jpg" width="320" /></a> This blog post is part two of my Community of Christ World Conference Impressions. To read the first part of this blog series see <a href="http://lanceirons.blogspot.com/2016/06/world-conference-2016-one-in-christ.html">here</a>. <br />
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This post is going to center on the most spiritually uplifting part of the conference that I personally attended. This session was the Sunday Communion Service. Videos have been added of the service for those who wish to watch them. At the service there was a large group of tables with bread and grape juice set up on the stage at the front. The sermon was done by the Presiding Evangelist David Brock. This Sermon I think helps to explain the idea of what the Sacrament means in the Community of Christ. In the LDS church it is a renewal of baptismal covenants and a demonstration of the willingness to take upon oneself the name of Christ. The Sacrament in the Utah Mormon tradition is to be taken by those who are worthy to receive of the emblems. Both the Community of Christ and LDS church believe the emblems of the sacrament to be a representation of Christ's body and blood. The sacrament in the Community of Christ from the little that I have observed appears to represent a uniting of the church as being one as a body in Christ. It is viewed as a act of reconciliation with one another that promotes a oneness in the diversity and sometimes fragmentation that individuals within the local and global community can have. David Brock says if much better than I can, here is the Communion Service Sermon below.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PBJAKkRTuV8?list=PLtVIRVpMxjwcHrUl5acDsz1C6n_qICZAG" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Before the passing of the communion there was a Reflection on the Communion Emblems. This video gives an artistic as well as unifying view of what the Sacrament represents to those gathered. The communion table in the Community of Christ/RLDS tradition is an open and welcoming table for all who want to come into Christ's peace and be a part of the community of believers. This is an open communion, members and non-members can partake of the emblems. A video on the reflections of the communion is below. <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hJ5xPqs_67k" width="560"></iframe>
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After the Reflections on the Communion Emblems, the part of the service that I found to be the most profound was when the communion sacrament was passed to the congregation. What I found particularly moving was the diversity of people who passed the communion. The Sacrament was broken by the leadership of the church. From there it was passed by a large and diverse group of people. The people who passed the emblems were both men and women, they represented many different races, ethnicities, cultural backgrounds, dress, and sexuality. While they passed the communion the congregation sang hymns of unity, oneness, and justice. The Pacific Mission Choir also provided a ministry of music during the service. It truly was profound in the symbolism of community and equality that it gave. For me personally it seemed to represent a vision of what Zion would be like. It was an incredible experience and one that is hard to describe. It truly was a different experience from the sacrament experiences I had in the LDS church, although profound in its own way. I saw a divine mission in the service that I participated in and a vision that Zion could actually be a possibility. The service seemed to represent a vision of Zion where differences in beliefs, dress, race, culture, sexuality, and gender identities are respected and expressed authentically. Zion seemed to me then to be a place where everyone is held together by the spirit of community, equality, and selflessness that would pervade a Zion like society. I cannot adequately described what I felt and experienced at that time. I never knew a religious experience could feel and be presented in this particular way. It was a stark contrast to my previous experiences in the LDS church and actually changed the ways I view spirituality and my relationship with the possibility of God's existence. <br />
The music was provided by the Pacific Mission Field Choir. Here is a video of some of the singing that was provided by this choir during the passing of the emblems.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/X1IBcf1k-ZQ" width="560"></iframe><br />
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I hope you enjoyed this blog post and my representation of this service. I tried to make it authentic to my experiences knowing that others may have felt and experienced things differently than what I had. This may be my last post for a while on my experiences in conference and in general. My schooling is about to start again and will probably be one of the craziest semesters I will be experiencing so far. Hopefully I can post something during the upcoming semester. Thank you everyone who has been reading my blog since I came out more than three years ago. It truly has been a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. I appreciate you all joining me on this journey. <br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-28104270805148212942016-07-03T17:05:00.001-07:002016-07-03T17:05:30.296-07:00The Need For Spiritual Safety<br />
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My heart has grown heavy once again this year over recent deaths that have occurred from the Orlando mass shooting tragedy and also in the LDS LGBTQ community with news of more suicides. Lives with so much potential were taken from this world. Each one of them with their own hopes, dreams, talents, and gifts, senselessly snuffed out in acts of violence. Whether that violence comes from a person armed with hate and a gun or from a pulpit that expresses moral justification in its condemnation of LGBTQ individuals, they all have one thing in common. Each one of them dehumanizes and degrades people based on how they love, making it easier for others to feel justified in harming them. Whether it is with misled good intentions mixed in with a feeling of moral superiority or evil intentions that only seek to harm, the result is still the same. Heartache, sadness, broken families, and in the worst cases the death of these precious individuals who deserved more than what society ultimately gave them. To all the people who may read my blog who have lost someone due to suicide or some other way I am truly sorry for your loss and I know that my words won't change what has happened. I hope that my post can help others understand and have a greater capacity to empathize with others that may be suffering. It is my hope that some day children growing up will not experience the pain that I and so many others have experienced at the hands of those who may not understand them or what they are going through. <br />
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Not only can violence be physical, it can also be emotional through abuse and neglect, it can be verbal with speech that seeks to degrade, harm, and diminish the worth of others, and it can be spiritual. Spiritual violence is most often, in my own experience, used unknowingly by the person using it. It can be a sermon or a lesson in Sunday school. It can be a side remark or comment that may be said out of ignorance. It can be a doctrine or set of beliefs that exclude certain groups of people, making individuals into inconveniences in what some want to be a static and unchanging belief system. Ultimately, I think the most damage comes in an LGBTQ context when someone is outed leading to religious authorities, parents, and friends who do not understand them to use religious terminology to shame or to harm in order to change the person sexual orientation. These type of messages although maybe well intentioned most of the time harm rather than help the child. These words and actions from loved ones and trusted authorities can lead to isolation, depression, and sorrow which can tragically lead this person to take their own life. What messages are we sending to children who are confused and hurting when over the pulpit LGBTQ people are derided as a menace to public safety and that acceptance of gay and lesbian children somehow will bring about the destruction of the world. What messages are being sent when children whose romantic orientation doesn't fit a specific mold are told that they shouldn't exist in a church. What is happening when that child grows up and falls in love and then is told that the love that they feel is sinful and evil. When parents shun them and religious leaders condemn them this is spiritual violence and tragically this has led to many suicides of young LGBTQ children throughout the years. <br />
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How do we combat spiritual violence and protect those that are victims of this violence. In some ways it first takes introspection on our own part on how we view the God that we say that we worship. Is our God a homophobic God, a God that encourages rhetoric that leads to the deaths of children from suicide? Does our God delight in children being thrown out of their homes by their parents and told that God does not love them? Or does our God that we worship truly express love for everyone? Does he see everyone as equal in his sight and does he express sadness at the offense that is committed against one of his children? Do we see the Divine in the diversity of human relationships and how people express their love for one another? Does our spiritual community seek to build up and welcome all people or does it place a caveat at the door that says we welcome all except for those that we find unacceptable?<br />
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<a href="https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/379/18027319904_f1a3a151c4_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/379/18027319904_f1a3a151c4_b.jpg" width="320" /></a>I have the utmost respect for those saints who have continued to attend the LDS church after this past November. Who have seen the bad fruit that has been wrought by the rhetoric and policies directed at the LGBTQ Mormon community and have still moved forward in seeking to be place of refuge in the church for those who need it. For me the pain became to unbearable and I couldn't stand staying. However, although I am no longer in attendance I have realized that simply standing on the sidelines is not an option. I truly felt this after speaking with so many other former gay and lesbian Mormons at the Community of Christ World Conference and hearing of the near universal stories of heartache and spiritual violence that they experienced. As individuals with shared experiences it is my hope that we can find those spiritual refugees, those individuals that have been so harmed by the rhetoric that all too often is still being used. My hope is that we can meet them where they are and provide them a space to heal and a space to once again branch out and reach their potential whether outside or inside organized religion. It is my hope that hearts will be softened toward those that are different. That spiritual safety will be found for those children who fall in love with a person of the same gender. It is my hope that everyone born can have a place at the table. That all people may be welcomed into a place that recognizes their true worth. It is my hope that we all can come together and create communities that seek after peace where every child has the right to belong.<br />
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Below is a hymn that has really touched me over the past two months since I have heard it. It is a hymn that truly embodies for me the type of spiritual community that I feel can be possible. The lyrics and the video are posted below. <br />
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"For Everyone born, a place at the table,<br />
for everyone born, clean water and bread,<br />
a shelter, a space, a safe place for growing,<br />
for everyone born, a star overhead,<br />
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For woman and man, a place at the table,<br />
revising the roles, deciding the share,<br />
with wisdom and grace, dividing the power,<br />
for woman and man, a system that's fair,<br />
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For young and for old, a place at the table,<br />
a voice to be heard, a part in the song,<br />
the hands of a child in hands that are wrinkled,<br />
for young and for old, the right to belong,<br />
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For just and unjust, a place at the table,<br />
abuser, abused, with need to forgive,<br />
in anger, in hurt, a mindset of mercy,<br />
for just and unjust, a new way to live,<br />
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For everyone born, a place at the table,<br />
to live without fear, and simply to be,<br />
to work, to speak out, to witness and worship,<br />
for everyone born, the right to be free,<br />
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Chorus<br />
and God will delight when we are creators<br />
of justice and joy, compassion and peace:<br />
yes, God will delight when we are creators<br />
of justice, justice and joy!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hmUlJvzRal4" width="420"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-87760803214006975052016-06-08T16:27:00.000-07:002016-06-08T16:30:09.109-07:00World Conference 2016 - One in Christ<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> This past Weekend I attended the Community of Christ
World Conference in Independence Missouri. Getting off the plane in
Kansas City, I was both excited and apprehensive because I did not know what to
expect at the Conference. Luckily we met up with some other conference
attendees at the airport and so were able to catch a ride with them over to
Kansas City. While in Kansas City we visited a couple of places and
monuments including the National WWI memorial and museum. The memorial
provided us with a surprising starting point on this weekend conference trip.
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Kansas City from the WWI Memorial</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">When we entered the museum we walked over a glass bottomed bridge
that overlooked an artificial meadow of poppy flowers. Each flower
represented 1,000 lives that were lost during that devastating and tragic war.
While still at the museum we had the opportunity to speak with a tour guide
who found out that we were heading to a religious conference. This
prompted him to talk about how religion was used on both sides to justify the
sending of many men to this war. It reminded
me of today and how religion is still used to justify violence against those
considered the enemy or the other. As I look back now while writing this
I am struck with how poignant both the museum and the man's statements were as
I embarked to a conference focused around peace and unity in Christ. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">WWI Memorial Kansas City, MO <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> After checking into the apartment that we were staying at, we took
our first Uber ride from south Kansas City over to Independence where we were
dropped off at the Community of Christ Auditorium. The Auditorium is kind
of like the conference center for the Utah Mormons. It is a place where most of
the legislative sessions, large meetings, and worship services take place.
Fun fact Harry Truman announced the United States signing of the United
Nations Treaty at the Auditorium in 1945. To commemorate the signing 50
years later a fountain was erected close to the Auditorium. <span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Community of Christ Auditorium Independence, MO</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">The first conference event started off
with the Eagle Staff Ceremony on Friday afternoon where the non-geographical First
Nations congregation sang and chanted. An
Eagle Staff was placed next to the stage as a way to honor the native peoples
of the United States during the conference.
It was a very nice gesture of recognition for those Native to the land the conference was being held on. It felt very
appropriate and very sensitive to the history of the area. <span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUTxLqaY-445_-D9tO7HhzI6vdZuQuCNfKVO5HZWjvrjEjEfCTeBRU3bQNcxpaRccLExFRTMOSm3swipJRv73pAWU_cM8kKxOmj4eAyugPnUoq2qHwgDeDbn3WKmbJHw0ho5mYrKc-rjV2/s1600/13307461_10209644417292936_2508740429676800395_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUTxLqaY-445_-D9tO7HhzI6vdZuQuCNfKVO5HZWjvrjEjEfCTeBRU3bQNcxpaRccLExFRTMOSm3swipJRv73pAWU_cM8kKxOmj4eAyugPnUoq2qHwgDeDbn3WKmbJHw0ho5mYrKc-rjV2/s320/13307461_10209644417292936_2508740429676800395_n.jpg" width="176" /></a><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">After the ceremony I walked around the Community
of Christ Temple. For those who may not know about the purpose of the
Temple in Community of Christ theology, here is a quick explanation. The
use of the temple is modeled after the Kirtland Temple. The temple is a place where special meetings and the temple school are held. A daily prayer for peace is given in the temple as well. There are no private ceremonies or ordinances performed there except for
communion, priesthood ordination, and administration to the sick. The
temple itself is dedicated to the pursuit of peace, reconciliation, and healing
of the spirit. Everyone is welcome to enter into the temple and the
sanctuary, I am not a member of Community of Christ and was able to enter.
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Before I entered the sanctuary I was greeted by an etched glass
depiction of the sacred grove. The place where Joseph Smith prayed for God's divine guidance. As I entered
the main entrance I encountered artwork with deep spiritual meanings. The
lights were dim as I placed my first step past the doors and onto the worshiper’s
path. Step by step I encountered prompts
and artwork that challenged me to mediate on the symbolism that was presented. This was my first time in the Temple and I
didn’t know what to expect. But as I slowly
walked, I kept my mind open, meditating on the words and the imagery that I was
being presented. Almost imperceptibly the path grew brighter until it opened up
into the main sanctuary. The sanctuary
is designed like a Nautilus shell which drew my gaze upward as if I was looking
towards heaven. At the edges of the spiraling ceiling, windows
allowed for natural light to completely illuminate the room as if it were
glowing. An organ and stage were at the front of the room with pews facing
toward the stage. The space was very
peaceful and provided a wonderful place for mediation and prayer. During a service there that same day. I was able to sing hymns with other
conference attendees and as I sang I felt the divine pervade my heart as our
songs seemed to reach toward heaven from that sacred and beautiful place. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Temple Sanctuary Ceiling</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> My first day at World Conference was significant and moving to me as I observed attendees from all around the world meeting together, singing, and greeting one another. I didn't know it at the time but over the next few days I would truly gain a deeper understanding of the profound mission of the Community of Christ church. I will be writing about my impressions about this meaning and the significance I feel it has in my next post. Thanks for reading. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-79991826406808129512016-05-30T08:34:00.000-07:002016-05-30T15:49:40.598-07:00Stay Tuned for More to Come<div style="text-align: center;">
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After finishing my first year of Medical School, I have finally been able to refocus my energy on updating this blog. Over the past few months I have been preparing to go to an exciting event. Thanks to my twin brother, we will be attending the weekend sessions of the Community of Christ World Conference in Independence, Missouri this coming Friday through Monday.<br />
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I am curious in seeing for myself how this conference differs from the LDS general conferences that I have witnessed in the past. From what I have read and learned, Community of Christ conferences are very different compared to LDS General Conferences. A big difference is that the members who attend the conference are mainly elected delegates from congregations and Mission Centers (Stakes) all around the world. The conference is run like a legislative session where common consent or dissent is practiced in regards to new revelation and church policy. There are also opportunities for friends of the Community of Christ who are not members, members of the Community of Christ, and people who are interested to attend and listen without being a delegate. <br />
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Along with the legislative sessions there is also a planned First Nations Eagle Staff Ceremony, Celebration Village, and other performances, events, socials, and opportunities to network with service oriented non-profits. The conference lasts for about a week and a half. If you are interested in learning more about the schedule and events see the event app <a href="http://eventmobi.com/wc2016/">here.</a> There will also be a live screening of the events <a href="https://www.cofchrist.org/live-webcast">here</a> and the world conference website <a href="https://www.cofchrist.org/2016-world-conference">here</a> for more information on resolutions and agenda items.<br />
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After attending the conference I am planning on writing a few blog posts on my impressions, thoughts, and experiences of the conference with you all. I want to do this for those who may have an academic interest, general curiosity, or an interest in spiritual exploration of the conference.<br />
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Moving away from the subject of future blog posts, I wanted to share the experience I had at the<br />
Washington DC Community of Christ congregation last weekend. At this service there were two baptisms, confirmations, and an ordination performed. One of the baptisms was of my twin brother who made the decision to join the Community of Christ after attending services and events for about a year and a half. As I spoke to the individuals and families who attended, I could definitely sense a spirit of community and support. Many of the people who were present traveled from previous congregations that my brother first attended when he left the LDS church. Along with the outpouring of support from the members, beautiful and inspiring hymns were sung including the old Irish Hymn Be Thou my Vision at the beginning and the more contemporary hymn For Everyone Born at the end. The spirit of community also reached across the Atlantic to my brother's boyfriend who was skyping into the service from Italy. <br />
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As I have continued to attend this small church community I have been both inspired and humbled by the gracious members and the spirit of a group of people who have felt a call to develop Zion-like communities. I was truly honored to have attended a beautiful service and to be in the company of people who have truly embraced me and my family with open arms during the heartache of the past several months. I am definitely looking forward to the world conference and the new opportunities for me to experience something new and exciting in the restoration movement.<br />
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I posted two of the hymns that were sung at the service below.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-22843589016706327922016-01-24T07:35:00.000-08:002016-02-02T09:53:44.124-08:00Picking up the Pieces<br />
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After the recent news that the LDS church's policy toward the Children of same-sex parents was actually a revelation instead of policy. I found myself once again in a class feeling pain and sorrow at this pronouncement. I had previously posted on my initial reaction to the policy <a href="http://lanceirons.blogspot.com/2015/12/my-personal-path-from-pain-and.html">here</a>. I thought I had moved on from my pain and was steadily progressing once again. It turns out that years and years of hiding and denying my full identity as a worthy and loved child of God is hard to move on from. <br />
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As I sat there I wondered, why do I still feel pain, why am I still fighting this same battle within myself. I felt pain and longing for the many good memories I spent in the faith of my family. Dwelling on the what ifs and the has beens. I also remembered the not so good times and how much I tried to change myself to reflect what I believed was God's only acceptable plan for me. The pain and the anguish that I experienced and the thoughts of ending it all still sting as a painful reminder to a childhood spent in fear and loathing. <br />
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Over the past few years especially around the time when I first publicly came out with this blog. I have been growing and maturing in my faith and relationship with God. Recent events have been quite a challenge to this previous foundation and has shattered what I had previously thought I had known without a doubt. Although in hindsight I realized that many of those things that I professed were in a blissful ignorance of the infinite complexity that is God and the history of those seeking His will.<br />
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I started questioning everything. I pondered on the meaning of faith and the personal experience that is religion. I also pondered on the possibility of being non-religious at all and not associating myself with any religion as a way to both protect myself and my future family. <br />
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As I pondered and wrestled with these thoughts I was presented with an experience that brought peace to my heart. A few Saturdays ago I went to a Potluck dinner at the Community of Christ (formerly RLDS) congregation that I have been attending. While there I found that the main room that makes up nearly all of the small building was filled with kids from the neighborhood. The doors were open to everyone that wanted to have food to eat, fellowship, and fun. The congregation that I have been attending is in a neighborhood where there are many different issues associated with poverty. As a way to address the needs of the community, this congregation opens it's doors to all families to take part in food and fun in a safe environment. I learned that many of the kids that lived in the local neighborhood come very hungry with many of their families struggling to make ends meet. It really moved me how safe and happy the kids appeared there. Many of them had no other family members there besides themselves. It touched my heart the service that was provided to these children by the congregation. <br />
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It was also the first time that my husband attended the congregation as well. When I introduced him he was welcomed completely by the members with no looks or words of disapproval even from the older members. This experience made me feel even more welcomed in this community where I can be my authentic self without risk of judgment or ostracism. <br />
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After the potluck my husband and I were driving home. While heading home we saw a man in a motorized wheelchair on the street. We stopped and turned on our hazard lights to see if the man needed help. It turned out he was a veteran that had just been discharged from the hospital. Someone had stolen his money and he had a friend who was checking on a nearby motel too see how much it would cost for a room. Heading over there we found out that the women who was his friend didn't have enough money to put him up for a few days until he could find housing. My husband and I are both students on a tight budget and weren't able to give the sum of money that was required.<br />
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Thinking about the incredible charity I had just witnessed at the Community of Christ, I contacted the pastor and asked if he could help. He listened to the situation and said that they would be able to take care of the rest of the motel bill for the man. We were able to make the payment for the motel and we talked to both the women and the man. The women had recently been living with a mother in law because her house had burned down a few weeks before. The man had had one of his legs amputated and had bed sores on his body. This man was in need of help and we were able to answer that call thanks to the charity and love of of the members of the Community of Christ. They were willing to give freely to this homeless man who needed a place to stay while he looked for more permanent housing. Even without meeting him they were willing to share of their bounty. Peace entered my heart as we drove home. I felt at home for the first time in a long time. I felt like I had found a place that truly wanted and accepted me as me not some idealized version of who I am expected to be. A family that saw worth in every person no matter who they are.<br />
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A prayer for peace was given at the temple in Independence Missouri. I wanted to share it with you all.<br />
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<a href="http://cache.virtualtourist.com/3994044-Community_of_Christ_Temple_gleams_in_sun-Independence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://cache.virtualtourist.com/3994044-Community_of_Christ_Temple_gleams_in_sun-Independence.jpg" height="285" width="320" /></a>"I seek a heart that is attuned to listen to the sounds of human life - the murmurings of pain and struggle, the babble of confusion and doubt, whispered yearnings, the ecstatic outburst of joy and delight.<br />
I seek a heart with an interior vision that sees beyond the surface. I seek the peacefulness of a life well spent. I seek the prayerfulness of the quiet, the agony of the fearful, the loneliness of the complainer.<br />
I seek a heart imbued with feelings that can penetrate closed walls: walls that shut out closeness, walls that restrict friendship, walls that choke out life.<br />
I seek a heart that is other centered, motivated by love of God, freely giving, joyfully surrendering selfish whims, peacefully touching life with beauty, gently walking in God's way."<br />
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Although everyone's path is different and will have twists and turns along the way. I am glad to know that for now, at this moment, I am in a place where I can have a greater capacity to serve others. I hope and pray that everyone can find a place where they can express their true, authentic, and divine identities in a way that brings light and joy to this world. <br />
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Thank you for reading and I hope that the spirit of Shalom or peace follows you in your travels. And that this new year is filled with joy and wonder, where every experience whether sad or good brings you closer to a place where you can feel whole and appreciated. <br />
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Thanks for reading!<br />
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To preface this blog post I recommend reading my <a href="http://lanceirons.blogspot.com/2015/12/my-personal-path-from-pain-and.html" target="_blank">previous post </a>about my thoughts on the LDS church's new policy and the experiences that have led me to seek out a spiritual home in the Community of Christ (formerly known as the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). As I listened to the Prophet-President of the Community of Christ I wanted to learn as much as I could about this part of the Restoration. <br />
Just as a way to help both explain and bring my readers along on my journey, I am going to post a couple of long 1-hourish videos that were displayed on Mormon Stories about the teachings and history of the Community of Christ beginning with Joseph Smith. It is presented by John Hamer who is a historian and himself a former gay Mormon who is now the pastor of the Toronto Community of Christ congregation. My posting this is not about converting anyone or saying that my path is the right path. The path to spiritual progression should always be between the individual and God. I simply want to share what has brought me peace in the hopes that it may help others or may stimulate a desire to learn more about religious history whether it be purely academic or spiritual. Here is an introductory video about Community of Christ. I think many of my readers will recognize the music in the background.<br />
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The next two videos are about the differences and similarities of beliefs between the LDS and Community of Christ. These were the ones I watched first. I was intrigued by the similarities and differences between the two. John Hamer who is presenting also gives the case of how disaffected LDS members or LGBT Mormons may find a spiritual home at the Community of Christ. These videos are kind of long so if you have spare time I encourage you to watch them. I personally watched them as I did dishes and chores. Summaries can be found and additional dialogue <a href="http://mormonstories.org/john-hamer-on-community-of-christ-as-a-church-home-for-transitioning-mormons/" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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The next four videos follow the history of the Community of Christ. From 1830 to the present day and how it was shaped in parallel to the LDS church. The first video covers the beginning of the restoration from 1820-1844. Most members of the LDS church will recognize this history. Once again dialogue and summaries <a href="http://mormonstories.org/a-visual-history-of-the-community-of-christ-rlds/">here.</a> <br />
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The next video covers more of the divergence and schism of The LDS church between those led by Brigham Young and the scattered congregations who did not travel west, including Joseph's Smith's family. Many different groups formed their own churches under various leaders including the Strangites, Cutlerites, Rigdonites, etc.<br />
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This next video follows the RLDS church as it is organized in 1860 under the leadership of Joseph Smith 3rd (Joseph Smith's oldest Son). This video covers most of his tenure as Prophet of the RLDS to 1910 as he brings many of the scattered Saints into the Reorganization. <br />
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The final video follows the transformation of the RLDS church to the now Community of Christ using the historical research done in the 1960s and 1970s as a catalyst for introspection and change. The parts I find the most compelling are how it appears that the leadership in the then RLDS church decided to address historical issues head on. This is in stark contrast to LDS leadership who sought to keep these historical findings from reaching the general membership. The LDS church is only now trying to address these issue in public with their release of various essays on the church's history. <br />
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The most interesting thing that I found from these videos was how little I actually knew about the early history of the restoration tradition of Christianity under Joseph Smith and how very little I knew of the Community of Christ. I deeply regret this ignorance and have since continued to seek more knowledge on the subject. I will also post a couple of other links below that I have found helpful to learning more about the Community of Christ. These links will also include the Latter-day Seekers website that is specifically geared toward LDS members who are interested in learning more. <br />
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Thanks for watching and reading. Hopefully in the next several weeks/ months as my time is permitted I will be writing and sharing more on this subject. I have appreciated the perspectives and dialogue that I have received over the past several years as an out Gay man and look forward to many more to come. During this Christmas and Holiday Season I hope peace can be found in your homes and in your communities. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-66719400160937332042015-12-17T14:32:00.000-08:002015-12-21T10:49:42.878-08:00My Personal Path From Pain and Confusion to Hope and Spiritual Progression<div>
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I finally have a break to write another blog post. A lot of stuff has happened since my last post. I am fairly certain that many of the readers of my blog have had many discussions with friends, family, and others around the LDS church's new policy in regards to the Children of LGBT couples. For me personally it felt like a stab in the heart. I cannot adequately describe the pain and betrayal I felt at that time. I had made peace with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and was still attending meetings when I found the time to. I described the pain and the anguish I felt in a Facebook post. This is what I wrote:</div>
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"The past few days have definitely been incredibly difficult and heartbreaking. I'm grateful for everyone that I have seen who have stood up in defense of the children of LGBT parents and their families during this difficult time. Even though many of you will not be personally effected by this change within the LDS church. Just the fact that you have been willing to listen with an open mind and heart and advocate for others is an incredible blessing. The fact that you have been open to the plight of your brothers and sisters has made a tremendous difference. Your love and kindness has been noticed.<br />
To those people who see nothing wrong with this policy and the potential damage this will have to so many children I beg you to open your hearts to their stories. Realize how much pain, anguish, and exclusion they are going to feel when they see their friends getting baptized and then being told that they can't because of their parents, who if they are that age probably go to church with them and approve of their involvement. Realize that this policy will make them feel singled out and ostracized. Understand how their parents will feel whether they be from failed mixed orientation marriages or love the church and want their kids raised in the church. Many of them have faced so many hardships and had finally found a balance within their marriage and relationship with the church. Now they're being told that their kids are now considered the other and not worthy because of who their parents are. Imagine how this policy will open old wounds and how it feels that the church is trying to punish them further for their sexual orientation that they had no choice in. Whether it is their intention or not that is what is happening, that is reality.</div>
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Some people may say that these kids can choose when they're 18 and that it will lessen conflict. The problem is the damage will have already been done. Treating a young child like this is harmful to their identity and relationship with their heavenly Father. No matter what the intentions and the belief that this is what is best for the child. The fact still remains that this policy will lead to broken families, heartbroken children, and a culture of exclusion for these kids. Many of these children have been adopted and have experienced abandonment from their previous families are now being told after they have finally found a family that loves them and cares for them that that love is counterfeit that they have to renounce that love, peace, and security they have found. How traumatizing that can be and will be for these children.</div>
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I feel raw and heartbroken, a church that I grew up in and that has helped me develop my relationship with my Savior has essentially shut the door on my family and my future kids. This is how I and thousands of other people in my situation feel right now. People may seek to minimize it but it is there, we are here, we exist, our pain is real. You can either choose to ignore it and brush it off because it doesn't affect you or you can mourn with us and comfort us because many people are in need of comfort right now." </div>
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(As preface to what I am going to talk about, I have a deep respect for the decisions made by individuals. My thoughts are my own and are neither an endorsement or criticism. They are merely the thoughts and the pain which I have personally felt. Everyone's road is different and I can not emphasize enough that people must make their own decisions and should if they feel they are able to make their own decisions with God in regards to belief or non-belief. That is something I would never deny to anyone, I just seek to share my own personal perspective.)<br />
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"> As I watched this video I felt a profound peace enter into my heart especially near the end when he talked about Oneness and Equality in Christ. This peace drove away the pain and the anguish from my soul. This peace also carried with it a prompting to learn more about Community of Christ.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;">I watched many other videos which I will post in later blog posts. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://www.lds.org/bc/content/church/temples/salt-lake/images/salt-lake-808x480-0001167s.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://www.lds.org/bc/content/church/temples/salt-lake/images/salt-lake-808x480-0001167s.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"> I still consider myself Mormon in the sense that my own personal beliefs have been cultivated within </span></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;">the LDS church. My plan is to always leave my heart open to the possibility of me returning if prompted by the spirit to do so. The culture and the influence the LDS church has had on my life has been profound and will never leave me. I personally can profess that I have felt the spirit many times in the LDS church. The spirit has borne me up in hours of need and trial and has offered me comfort countless times. As I have continued to learn over the past couple of weeks I have developed a deep respect for both the LDS church and the Community of Christ as part of the Restoration Tradition</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"> of Christianity that has Joseph Smith as its first prophet. I have also felt and recognized truth in the Community of Christ faith. I have found it to be an honest and genuine expression of the Restoration one that I regret not knowing more about until now. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"> I still don't know exactly where God will lead me on this road. There is still much I need to learn and hopefully many more years ahead. I have found at this time a place of safety where my husband and I are fully welcome. At the very least what I do know is that at this moment in my life. I am where I need to be. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"><span style="line-height: 21.4667px;">If anyone is interested in finding out more about the Community of Christ </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"><span style="line-height: 21.4667px;">from a LDS perspective </span></span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 21.4667px;">here is a link.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;">http://www.latter-dayseekers.org/</span></span></span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-51811035809550506702015-07-06T13:37:00.000-07:002015-07-06T13:39:30.169-07:00First Anniversary, Marriage Equality, and Preparing for Medical School!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The past few weeks have been such a blessing for my family. Not only have we celebrated our first anniversary. We have also celebrated the Supreme Court decision that will help to enshrine the same rights and privileges for us as other couples. It has been a time of great excitement for some and political angst for others. Wherever you fall on the spectrum of legalized same-sex marriage. I want you to know that these rulings are going to effect many people positively. Not only in regards to legal benefits for same-sex couple and their children. But also the dignity of being treated equally under the law. <br />
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One of my greatest hopes is that all people no matter their romantic orientation will grow up with the hope of a family. That in the future, laws that allow for the discrimination of others will fade away and be replaced with equal treatment for all. I hope that in the future, children like myself won't grow up with the shame and fear of how they feel. That they will see how good life can be. I hope that they will grow up without the pressure to lie to others about who they are.<br />
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This summer before I enter medical school I have had the privilege of working with kids who have been abused and severely mistreated by their parents and guardians. Working with them each day I have been able to see the child who wants to be safe, who wants a better life but doesn't know where to find it. I have seen the process of healing and hope work in their lives. This I hope I can help facilitate for others. Although I am still not sure what my future holds completely. I can see myself working with children and young adults in my future profession. The defenseless and the forgotten. I hope I can make a difference in at least a few of their lives. Progress does not come without effort. Although their have been victories there is still a tough battle ahead. Each day I see hope for a more just and equitable world. A world where the least will be considered as much as the greatest. <br />
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I look forward with an excitement to the future and a promise of a better tomorrow. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-89007330771441183202015-04-14T17:35:00.000-07:002015-04-14T17:35:35.450-07:00I Need Him Too<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.466667175293px;"> I recently noticed that USGA at BYU posted up a new video. Their original viral video provided me with a lot of hope and support during a time that was very dark and lonely for me. Their stories and encouragement helped me to have hope and faith in God's plan for my future. After watching this video I wanted to add my own voice with theirs. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.466667175293px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.466667175293px;"> One of the more hurtful things I have been told before is that because I am gay I can't have a relationship with Jesus Christ or my Heavenly Father. That somehow the atonement does not apply to me. That I am broken, counterfeit, and beyond the reach of the spirit. If my experience with my Heavenly Father is any indicator, I have have found that these statements are simply not true, I have felt and have continued to feel the power of the atonement working in my life. The relationship I have with my savior is stronger now than it has ever been. He has walked where I</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.466667175293px;"> have walked, and I know he understands the intentions of my heart as I have continually sought guidance from Him for each decision that I make. I need him too. I need his peace and comfort through times and trials. I need his boundless charity to encompass me in warmth and light. I need the gentle reminders of his grace as I feel the warm touch of sun on my face, the wind as it blows through my hair, and the peace as a kneel to pray. </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.466667175293px;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.466667175293px;"> Through the spirit I have learned and feel that who I am is a blessing. By being gay I have learned what it is like to be at the end of condescension and judgement. I have learned what it must have been like for the outcasts that Christ sat and ate with, who he ministered too, and who he called his friends. The pain and sorrow I felt growing up from the ignorance and judgement of others has made me stronger and has brought me closer to Him. I learned to rely on my savior when everything seemed hopeless. I have learned that human understanding and strength ultimately falls short compared to His divine and eternal consistency. I have learned that my only source of truth can be from the fruit that is borne from the actions and words of others coupled with the still whispering of the spirit. </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.466667175293px;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.466667175293px;"> The diversity of God's creation is not something to fear, each individual difference should be celebrated. The incredible diversity of mankind is a testament of the power of human potential and God's love. Each individual is precious and none should be forced into a cookie cutter mold of what society says they should be. We all lose out when this happens. He is mindful of each one of us, He has a plan for each one of us, and He loves us beyond anything we can imagine. If you feel that you are not good enough or that God could never love you. Always remember that he truly does love you completely. His love is not based on condition or standing. It is unconditional and all encompassing, stay strong, this world needs you to be who you are, an indescribable child of God. </span><br />
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<img src="http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/u/TvyamNb-BivtNwcoxtkc5xGBuGkIMh_nj4UJHQKuor5QjTLucsvp1AIVzsnEsHSjLbLLtNBN8CDEHw/" />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-54007605261280504242015-01-23T11:43:00.000-08:002015-02-01T14:00:04.365-08:00Where I'm supposed to be.It has been a little over a year since <a href="http://lanceirons.blogspot.com/2014/01/my-mormon-coming-out-story.html" target="_blank">I publicly came out as a gay Mormon.</a> In that year, I have had many wonderful and humbling experiences. I have met new people and I have gained a greater appreciation of the diversity and the uniqueness of God's will for each person. This is a little summary. <br />
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Life has been busy.<br />
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School has started up again, I recently got a new job at a behavioral health center for at risk youth, and I just joined a political action committee. Needless to say, I'm expecting a very productive and busy last semester to my undergraduate years. </div>
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Along with staying busy, I have been married to the love of my life now for over six months. Time has flown by and I often find myself thinking about the path that led me to where I am now. I came out publicly a little over a year ago and have transitioned to being a true and authentic son of God. It has been a bit of a roller coaster but one that has brought me clarity and a closer relationship with my Heavenly Father. <br />
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I am now an excommunicated member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My stake president was very attentive to me and I felt the spirit whenever I talked to him. He wasn't punitive with his church authority and worked with me through everything. I truly felt his care and his desire to understand and build a bridge with me. I know this is not always the case, I have heard of people who have had a less than desirable experiences with priesthood leaders around this subject. After speaking with my stake president over a couple of weeks he decided it was time to move to an excommunication. <br />
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What really surprised me and humbled me about the excommunication was the overwhelming spirit that I felt. This spirit was compounded by the testimony that I bore of my savior Jesus Christ and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. It was uniquely personal and very powerful. I left the excommunication with a feeling of peace and joy. It was uplifting and completely unexpected. The experience helped reinforce my belief that as I trust in my Heavenly Father's will, everything will work out.<br />
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Another pleasant surprise was and is the continued companionship of the Holy Spirit. Although I cannot enter into the temple anymore and I can't partake of the sacrament, the spirit continues to help me as I seek to do my Father's will. <br />
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There have been times in this past year where my faith has faltered and I have felt distant from God but luckily those moments of doubt have only renewed the strength that God has given me. I have come to know personally the importance of doubt in faith. Through this process I have learned to doubt everything and to analyze everything in greater detail. I have learned to not lean on the arm of men but on the arm of my Heavenly Father. My love and understanding of the power of the atonement has grown deeper. My outlook on life has improved and I am happier than I have ever been. <br />
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The amount of growth and the outpouring of love I have experience over the past year has been humbling both from members of the LGBT Mormons and Allies and also from my friends and family. I attend my local ward where a couple of people now know about my husband and I. <br />
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Last year I took a leap of faith when coming out publicly. I have learned a great many things and I know there is still much for me to learn. Through everything I truly believe and feel that I am where I'm supposed to be.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-84336475972349723322014-12-07T07:58:00.001-08:002014-12-07T07:58:54.655-08:00My Late Transgender Day of Remembrance PostHello Everyone,<br />
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I have been incredibly busy with school recently and I just now found the time to write another blog post. This post is kind of my tribute to all my transgender friends. Nowhere else have I seen such strong and courageous people. You all are a beacon of light to me. You amaze me with your example of how to live a life that is authentic to your God given identity. More and more society is realizing the falsehood of the gender binary. Science has already discovered that just as sexuality is on a continuum, gender too is not on polar ends of male and female. Sexuality and gender are not determined based on the genitalia a person is born with. Gender and Sexuality come from the mind and reach out from the deepest and most human parts of ourselves. Those parts I believe are the most eternal. They color our perceptions and truly help us to become entwined with the identity of the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with, hopefully into the eternities. <br />
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These identities should not be repressed or held back. Everyone was meant to be here, everyone is a beautiful and wonderful child of God who has unique and incredible attributes to share. Every single person has the ability to truly make this world a better place. I truly believe God is filled with joy as we express ourselves in a way that is truly authentic to ourselves. As we serve others and let people know they are not alone. We represent a piece of who God is and what Jesus Christ himself would do. Every son, daughter, cisgender, transgender, intersex, gender queer, heterosexual, and homosexual child of God is a beautiful image of who our heavenly parents are and their infinite and divine capacity to love and embrace every single one of us. The world needs more love not more misunderstanding. You all bring the world closer to a Zion-like society as you expand everyone's capacity to love and support one another. There is still a lot of work to do, let us all work hard to lift up the heavy hand. To give of our substance to those in need. Instead of quibbling over how a person should dress or how a person should live their life let's try expound love instead of judgement. In the end we are all trying our best to live a life that holds no regrets. <br />
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I added this video because it is a fun song about letting out what truly makes you amazing! (I do believe most of the people in this video are transgender although there is also a drag queen)<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-63704275590095067192014-10-25T18:39:00.000-07:002014-10-25T18:39:13.567-07:00Joy: A Tale of Love and Marriage On July 1st 2014 I legally married the man of my dreams, on July 2nd we committed to support one another both spiritually and physically the rest of our lives and hopefully into the eternities. <br />
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I met James during February of 2013. When I met him, I was just starting to come out to close friends and people at school. Previously, I had come to accept that I would stay in the closet forever and just work to remain celibate in all ways including any romantic relationships. It wasn't until receiving very specific promptings that I decided to start coming out. I wrote a little bit about this first coming out and my experiences in the LGBT community <a href="http://lanceirons.blogspot.com/2014/04/i-found-god-in-lgbtq-community.html" target="_blank">here</a>. I came out to some very specific close friends. This initial coming out eventually led me to coming out publicly January of this year, which you can read <a href="http://lanceirons.blogspot.com/2014/01/my-mormon-coming-out-story.html" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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During the first stages of my coming out, I met a lot of different people. Including someone very special to me. We met when I first walked into the office of the LGBTQ organization on my campus. He was tall, good looking, and couldn't get enough of me. When we met I was not looking for any relationships. In fact, I made it a point to tell everyone who asked that I was not interested. <br />
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One Friday night we had a movie night at the school. The whole time James was flirting with me and I am not going lie I really enjoyed it. It wasn't like when I attempted to flirt with girls. This one felt natural, fun, and a little thrilling as well. He told me that night that he wanted to date me. He at the time was leaving a very bad relationship and was looking to fill the void left in him. <br />
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What he wanted was for me to say yes. The answer he got was something he didn't expect and one that would have one of the greatest impacts on both of our lives. I bore my testimony and told him no.<br />
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That same morning I was driving back home from the school. While I was driving, I had an incredibly powerful experience, one that I can only describe as indescribable and sacred. I knew that God was pleased with me and that I had done what God had been preparing me to do. <br />
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One week later, while James was out with a friend he felt prompted to go to church. James had been baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints almost a decade before. He ended up falling away due to misunderstandings and painful experiences caused by members. He had almost no support and no other members of his family were in the church. He struggled and eventually became distant from God. Although there were specific moments that he remembers where God continued to guide him. <br />
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When I first met him, he was at the lowest point in his life. He was leaving an eight year relationship and he felt that God couldn't hear him or wouldn't hear him. In his loneliness and despair he cried out to God for help. A week later I came into his life. <br />
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We became close friends, we even fell in love but we wouldn't admit it. James was working through a lot of problems and I was trying to figure out who I was at the time. This growing we both were going through in hindsight needed to happen with us just being friends. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWDH24aEazW1Xnnm4J2A64-m97RN0BiLvOJOMlthpOO0mUciGDykSjuzviz0a5r54IRRD81h4Epkn32HEoC56412uM9Fl10JMyAlpFNzjtPXg_pexSB-_1UwnfxDmsbGtCVIOt_vxCmBac/s1600/First+Temple+visit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWDH24aEazW1Xnnm4J2A64-m97RN0BiLvOJOMlthpOO0mUciGDykSjuzviz0a5r54IRRD81h4Epkn32HEoC56412uM9Fl10JMyAlpFNzjtPXg_pexSB-_1UwnfxDmsbGtCVIOt_vxCmBac/s1600/First+Temple+visit.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
So we kept moving along. James progressed tremendously at this time. He became closer to God and happier. This went on until the late fall of 2013. <br />
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At this time we both felt stuck spiritually, I felt that God knew how I could progress. I knew there was something important ahead of me, but I couldn't figure out what it was. This was the same for James. <br />
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Right before Thanksgiving, I was praying to God, I was seeking fervently to find the way he wanted me to go. Once again, I had to give up all my preconceptions and notions about God's will. I had to put my will on the alter before him and accept whatever it was he wanted me to do. Only then did I feel a new prompting, one that brought me peace but also apprehension. I felt the spirit move me to begin a deeper relationship with James. I didn't know where it would take me, but once again I knew I needed to trust in my Heavenly Father and in the promptings from the Holy Ghost.<br />
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We started dating and a few days later I knew I was progressing again. The spirit began to return and peace entered into my heart where it had been missing. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpDBQ7rLwrMul6vkm3PFiXFuQq1d7XCtu3hefkNQIWAWaHxIcuUsgLO6SePJbGAdPlvdp4gnNebUSEZV4IjYaPULiQoIzEsnyyXZv-nqeBBjtH5xaQi_VQVLZKSzHajzyuCG8YbNmZIW53/s1600/DSC05779.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpDBQ7rLwrMul6vkm3PFiXFuQq1d7XCtu3hefkNQIWAWaHxIcuUsgLO6SePJbGAdPlvdp4gnNebUSEZV4IjYaPULiQoIzEsnyyXZv-nqeBBjtH5xaQi_VQVLZKSzHajzyuCG8YbNmZIW53/s1600/DSC05779.JPG" height="179" width="320" /></a>A few weeks after that, we both felt prompted that God would give his permission for both of us to marry. James was the one who proposed. He couldn't afford a ring but that didn't matter to me. I accepted his proposal with a heart full of joy and a spirit full of peace. <br />
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After a 7 month engagement we got married at the courthouse in Somerset, Maryland. The courthouse was beautiful and I remember looking into James' eyes as the magistrate read out the words. I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness at what we were about to commit too, but it was all washed away by a wonderful feeling of happiness that the day had finally come.<br />
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The next day was the wedding celebration on Yorktown Beach. It was a busy day but in the end when I got to stand up in front of my family and friends and make a commitment to the love of my life, everything became worth it. All the struggles, the heartaches, the wrestles with the spirit. The pain of growing up gay in the LDS church and in the United States. The loneliness and terror of the possibility of being found out. It all became worth it as I said I do. Happiness and peace poured through me and settled deep into my heart. I still do not understand many things and I do not know God's purposes, but what I do know is that if we trust in Him we need not fear. We don't need to know everything. I know that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the kingdom of God. For now I walk with faith in Jesus Christ and the atonement. I have faith that the Holy Ghost will continue to guide my husband and I as we trust in his will. Life is a journey and I am grateful to God for helping me find my best friend to take the journey with me.<br />
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Both of our families on the York River. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-62096498182590332632014-08-14T14:11:00.001-07:002014-08-14T14:11:01.810-07:00Hopeful Signs and More to Come!To all my readers,<br />
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I am currently writing two posts that are very personal and describe where I am now. Those posts will hopefully be finished by the end of this month. It has been about 7 months since I publicly came out of the closet and about a year and a half since I first started telling people about it. It has been quite the adventure, since then both of discovering myself and learning about God's will for me. It is really cool to see good news from many LGBT people that I have had the privilege to communicate with and become acquainted with. It is great to see how life is starting to turn around for them. Even with an uncertain future, I see the courage that these young, and sometimes old, pioneers are taking into the unknown wilderness and it gives me hope. Who knows what lies ahead, what I do know that God loves each and everyone of us and that there is a bright future in store! Keep up the good fight everyone and know that there are a multitude of people cheering you on! Also if you are a certain point in your life where you may not believe in God. Still know about the love all of us have for you! Keep moving forward!<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Lance<br />
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P.S. I saw this video from Mormon Messages and I thought about writing an accompanying blog post about it. I think it speaks for itself. Through all my experiences, I have learned about the importance to have hope that God's light will continue to illuminate a path forward even if it is only for a few steps and even if those steps seem uncertain. <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/2w49_1a9X0Q" width="560"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-18487361632258656822014-07-28T10:04:00.001-07:002014-07-28T12:14:13.265-07:00Why are Some People Homosexual?<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I wanted to share a paper that I think some of my readers would be interested in. I wrote this paper for my Physiological Psychology class this past semester. (Warning, some of the information below is dense and technical.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> I have heard many discussion on where homosexuality might come from. Many of these discussions focus around personal experiences and </span><a href="http://lanceirons.blogspot.com/2014/06/recognizing-others-reality.html" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;" target="_blank">opinions</a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">, these kind of discussions, I have found, are a great way to learn and grow. In these discussions, there seems to be a </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">recurring</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> argument around whether a person chooses to be homosexual or whether they are born that way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">For this post, I wanted to provide a summary of what is known about the origins of homosexuality and a little on gender identity, as well as potential new research that is being done around the world in order to discover, biologically, how homosexuality occurs and why it exists. I included references at the bottom if anyone wants to do further research. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Homosexuality: What is Known and The Role of Epigenetics<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Abstract<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Over the past few decades more and more
research has been done to try to determine the root cause of homosexuality
within the animal and human population. . Homosexuality seems to be a very complex and
complicated phenomenon because it has been found to have more than one system
involved with the development of this phenotype. Research has found differences in brain
structure between homosexuals and heterosexuals. These differing brain structures are found to
be affected by androgens on the developing prenatal brain. Genetics has also been found to influence the
development of homosexuality. The way in
which structure, hormones, and genetics interacts is very complex and had
mostly been studied separately. An
overarching explanation that could unite these different areas of study is epigenetics. It has been found that epigenetics may play a
significant role in homosexuality. Not
only can epigenetics influence the expression of genes regarding androgen
signaling, they can also play a role in determining how certain structures are
created in the brain and how the body reacts to certain stressors in
utero. This paper seeks to better
explain how all this ties together and what we know and what we may need to
find out further, based on a review of current research in regards to this
topic. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Introduction<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> This
paper is seeking to compile the evidence that has been found for epigenetic
links to homosexuality within the human population, and what is known about the
difference between homosexuals and heterosexual people. <span style="background: white;">Epigenetics
broadly concerns gene expression, although not entirely, through the
manipulation of chromatin structure and function in both non-dividing and
dividing cells. Epigenetic markings
within the nucleus include the regulation of histones that effect how DNA is
packaged and DNA methylation, which is the addition of methyl groups onto DNA
nucleotides that affect gene expression.
These regulatory mechanisms work together to help determine the three
dimensional genome structure of DNA, which in turn effect gene expression. They do this by acting as the connection
between environmental factors and internal factors within the peripheral
tissues and brain, which then become molded and shaped based on these factors
(Akbarian & Nestler, 2013).
Epigenetics is the latest in recent studies on homosexuality which
previously was controversial to research.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Until recently, homosexuality had been
underrepresented within the animal population, this lack of reporting has been
typically “associated with a historical reluctance to publish socially and
religiously controversial information” (<span style="background: white;">Rice, Friberg & Gavrilets, 2013).
This practice has been reversed as more evidence has surfaced of the
commonality and relative consistency of homosexuality amongst animals,
including sheep at “about 8% strictly homosexual males” (Rice, Friberg &
Gavrilets, 2013). This consistency is
also translated over to humans. In the
United States the percentage of the population who identify as lesbian, gay,
bisexual, or transgender also known by the abbreviation, LGBT, was 3.5% as of
February 2013 (Gallup, 2013). So what is
the cause of homosexuality in the human population? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">It has been
found through research that there are physical differences in brain structure between
heterosexual and homosexual people; these physical differences appear to be
affected by hormones during prenatal development. There is evidence, from
genetic testing that homosexuality is heritable; epigenetics has been found to
significantly affect the way embryos interact with androgens through androgen
signaling and the expression of genes that are involved in masculine behavior
and phenotype, finally, through all this a new epigenetic model is starting to
be used that could better explain what still needs to be done in order to find
out the role of epigenetics in homosexuality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Structural Differences<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Differences
between structure and the interaction of the brain and environment have been
found to exist between heterosexual and homosexual men. One of the first differences in brain
structure discovered between homosexuals and heterosexuals was that of the
suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN), which is used to “generate and coordinate
hormonal, physiological, and behavioral circadian rhythms” (Swaab & Hofman,
1990). Swaab and Hofman (1990) also
state that the SCN has also been linked to reproduction. Swaab and Hofman (1990) found that the SCN in
“homosexual males were 1.73 times larger, and contained 2.09 times as many
cells” than the heterosexual male reference group (Swaab & Hofman,
1990). Not only were there structural
differences, other differences were found in how the brains of homosexuals
react to the environment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">One difference
that has been found is the way homosexual men and women’s anterior hypothalamus
is activated compared to heterosexuals.
It has been found that the anterior hypothalamus of heterosexuals has a
certain sex-differentiated activation; this activation is almost reversed in
homosexuals, making it sex atypical (Swaab, 2008). It has been found that in many areas of the
brain homosexuals demonstrate a sex atypical reaction to many stimuli that
cause a sexual differentiated response in heterosexuals. Deeper studies into the reasons why this
happens have found that it is due to hormonal events that occur during fetal
and prenatal development. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Hormonal Effects<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"> When
a fetus is developing in the uterus, fetal gonads develop between 6 and 12
weeks in boys because of the sex-determining gene on the Y-Chromosome. Females
develop mainly because of the absence of androgens during development. After the development of the gonads, sexual
differentiation then occurs in the developing brain (Bao & Swaab, 2011). There are two time periods between gonad
development, the first two months of development, and brain development in the
last half of pregnancy, the separateness of these two developmental time
periods can cause independent development between the two that can lead to the
rare possibility for genitalia and brain structure to not develop
coherently. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">One of the
causes of sex difference in gender roles, gender identity, and sexual
orientation is sex hormones in the developing brain. The main mechanism for this sex
differentiation in the developing brain responsible for sexual identity and
orientation is testosterone (Garcia-Falgueras & Swaab , 2010). Research has found that the fetal brain
develops in a female direction if there is a lack of activity in regards to
testosterone, and the fetal brain develops in a male direction if there is a
direct effect involving testosterone on the developing brain (Garcia-Falgueras
& Swaab , 2010). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"> There
are specific examples of phenomena that have been found to be linked to the
probability of a person being homosexual.
In male children there are two significant periods of development where
testosterone is higher than in girls.
These developmental periods are mid-pregnancy and the first three months
after birth. These peaks in testosterone
are believed to affect the programming of a boy’s brain for his entire lifetime
(Bao & Swaab, 2011). Changes and
differences in these peaks could lead to a sexual differentiation of the brain
that is atypical with the genital development of the child. Other examples of effects on the fetus while
in the womb include the “fraternal birth order effect” which explains why, in
boys, the possibility that a boy will be homosexual increases based on the
number of brothers that were born before him.
The theory of why this happens is thought to be “the progressive
immunizations of some mothers to Y-linked minor histocompatibility antigens by
each successive male fetus” (Bao & Swaab, 2011). This means that the mother starts to reject
the male fetus as a foreign body and develops antigens to fight against
it. These antigens can cause changes on
how the fetus develops, creating a greater chance for the child to develop a homosexual
orientation. Studies have also shown
that exposure to thyroid gland hormone, nicotine, or amphetamines increases the
chances of a mother to have a lesbian daughter (Bao & Swaab, 2011). It seems that there are postulated to be many
different effects and factors surrounding sexual orientation development. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Evidence has
been shown that hormones are insufficient to determine the actual cause of
sexual orientation. This has been shown
in studies that manipulate the gender and sex chromosome karyotype through the
translocating of a gene that is responsible for male sex determination. This research has found that aspects of brain
anatomy and sexually dimorphic behavior are strongly influenced by karyotype
along with fetal androgen exposure (</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Rice, Friberg &
Gabrilets, 2012).<span style="background: white;"> However, with this evidence it is still
affirmed that androgen signaling is still the predominant factor. The reason that this is not the complete
determinant is as follows. Through
various studies on rats and humans it has been found that fetal androgen levels
between both XX and XY fetuses overlap across all developmental stages. It has even been found that some XX fetuses
have higher testosterone levels than other XY fetuses (</span>Rice, Friberg
& Gabrilets, 2012).<span style="background: white;"> These
findings show that although androgens may play an important role, but they do
not play a complete role. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Epigenetic marks
that are dimorphic between XY and XX embryos are known to be produced during
the genome-wide reprogramming of the embryonic stem cell stage. This stage is during the early
development. The production of
epigenetic marks have been found to greatly influence gene expression in later
stages of development as well as have the ability to carry over across
generations. These proliferations of
epigenetic marks in the early stages are all but erased in the later stages of
development except for a few, which include imprinted genes and active
transposons (</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Rice, Friberg & Gabrilets, 2012).<span style="background: white;">
After this erasure there is once again another sequence of epi-marking
known as “de novo epi-marking.” These
are gene promoters that have been changed through DNA methylation and histone
modification (</span>Rice, Friberg & Gabrilets, 2012).<span style="background: white;"> This
proliferation of epigenetic markings, erasure, and more epigenetic markings can
have a profound effect on androgen signaling in both XY and XX fetuses during
early development and later during perinatal development. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">During the
earliest stages of mammalian development there is clear evidence of epigenetic
differences between XX and XY embryos.
This includes differences in gene expression in hundreds of genes and
how the embryos react to the environment.
Also, prior to secretion of androgens by the testes, studies have shown
that up to 51 genes in the brains of XY and XX embryos have differential
expressions on their autosomes (</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Rice, Friberg &
Gabrilets, 2012)<span style="background: white;">. Using this evidence, scientists have
theorized that homosexuality could be caused by the heritable proliferation of
epigenetic marks in the stem cell and not covered over by a de novo epigenetic
mark later in development. This can
explain the heredity of homosexuality, or if it was a de novo epigenetic mark
it can explain why identical twins tend to have low concordance of sexual
orientation (</span>Rice, Friberg & Gabrilets, 2012)<span style="background: white;">. This topic
will be discussed more in the next section.
Even though hormones and epigenetic marks play a very important role in
determining sex, gender, and sexual orientation, genetics has the capability of
generating more information on the causation of homosexuality. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Genetics and Pedigree<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Another
important area of research into the causation of homosexuality within the human
population is genetics. There have been
a large amount of studies done in regards to this subject. Family and twin studies have found a possible
genetic role in homosexuality. One such
study examined the linkage between the X chromosome and homosexuality. The
study performed by Hamer, Hu, et al.(1993), investigated genetic determinants
in male sexual orientation, by using linkage analyses and pedigree on 114
families of homosexual men. One of the
main results of this study was the discovery of a linkage between “homosexual
orientation and markers in the distal portion of Xq28” (Hamer, Hu et al.,
1993). This indicated the presence of a
genetic predisposition to homosexuality coming from the inherited X chromosome. It however is important to note that due to
the complexity of gender identity and sexual orientation more than one gene is
probably affecting the occurrence of homosexuality. Other evidence of genetic factors involved in
homosexuality was found in the first genome-wide scan of male homosexuals. In this study, three regions of genetic
interest were found. The strongest of
these genes was a gene located on “7q36” (Mustanski, Dupree, Nievergelt et al.,
2004). There is found around this
specific gene area a coding for a vasoactive intestinal peptide. This peptide has been found to be linked to
the development of the hypothalamic suprachiasmatic nucleus in mice. As mentioned above this part of the brain has
been found to be larger in homosexual men (Mustanski, Dupree, Nievergelt et
al., 2004). This then shows a promising
area to continue to study in order to find out more about how genetics affects
homosexuality and whether an epigenetic activation of this certain gene
increases the chance of a homosexual phenotype.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Studies using
twin pairs to research empirical evidence of the heritability of homosexuality
have been performed as well as gene analysis.
These studies have sought to find whether there is a genetic or
environmental connection on the causation of homosexuality. In the study done by Kendler, Thornton et al.(2000),
they used a nationally represented sample of twins in the United States and
found information on the sexual orientation of both members of the twin
pair. In this sample, it was found that
homosexual sexual orientation in identical twins was 31.6%. In another twin sample study, done in
Australia by Bailey, Dunne and Martin (2000), consistent data was found that
supports familial factors influencing sexual orientation, continuous gender
identity, and childhood gender non-conformity.
These different factors have been found to be genetically based with the
finding that homosexuality tends to run in families. This study also found that homosexual
orientation in identical twins was 20% for men and 24% for women. The study only found moderate to large heritability
in regards to both female and male sexual orientation. This leads to the idea that there are still more
factors involved than just genetics in the determination of sexual orientation </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(<span style="background: white;">Bailey, Dunne & Martin, 2000). This has lead to current studies being done
to determine the role of epigenetics in homosexuality. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">6)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Epigenetic Model<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There are many reasons why scientists now
believe that an epigenetic model for homosexuality can lead to a more
overarching answer in regards to its prevalence in nature. One reason is how inconclusive many studies
have shown to be when studying homosexuality.
Studies have been able to find links to homosexuality in brain
structure, prenatal hormone levels, and genetic markers, and have found
heritability of homosexuality amongst families.
These studies have sought to make sense of a phenomenon that occurs
throughout nature. It has been found
that homosexuality has been recorded to occur in 93 species of birds and many
more animals <span style="background: white;">(Rice, Friberg &
Gavrilets, 2013). If a specific gene
caused homosexuality, it would make sense that through natural selection the
gene would be removed because only heterosexual intercourse can lead to
procreation, so the gene could not be passed down. This reality requires another model in order to
explain this, and the epigenetic model seems to be the best candidate to do so.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">One idea that is currently being studied is prenatal
stress in dysmasculinization of male mice in phenotypical expression involving
behavior and physiological stress measures.
The researchers examined the F2 generation (two generations down from
original ancestor) that are descended from these prenatally stressed male mice to
see if this epigenetic phenotype could be transmitted across generations. Using specialized equipment that study genes
during neurodevelopment, they discovered a change in the mice’s gene expression
to a female-typical pattern from a male-typical pattern in the F2 offspring of
males that were prenatally stressed <span style="background: white;">(Morgan
& Bale, 2011). Changes were not only
found at the level of observable behavior but also at the cellular and
molecular level. As stated above,
testosterone is essential in the masculinization and feminization of the
brain. The researchers studied if a
change was found in this process that could explain the male rats changed
phenotype. It was found that the
estrogen receptors “ERα and ERβ appeared upregulated, an effect suggestive of
reduced ligand availability supporting a hypothesis for decreased perinatal
testosterone in F2-S males” (Morgan & Bale, 2011). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">The researchers
continued to look for other differences and found that three miRNA’s (that help
to regulate gene families in early neurodevelopment) expression seemed to be
dysmasculinized including two that were significantly affected by the parental
paternal prenatal stress. All three of
the effected miRNA had β-glycan as a target. β-glycan is involved in regulating gonadal
hormones like testosterone within the Leydig cells and pituitary gonadotrophs which
can affect the dysmasculinization of the brain during development leading to
sexually atypical behavior (Morgan & Bale, 2011). </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> <span style="background: white;">The
study also looked at how miRNA expression affected sexual differentiation in
the perinatal brain. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">This was found
through the use of an aromatase inhibitor, which prevented the testosterone
from being converted to estradiol, which dysmasculinized the environment around
the miRNA. After these males underwent
testing, it was found that the male miRNA;s were not distinguishable from the control
females. This data indicates a strong
ability of organizational hormones on the expression of brain miRNA during the
perinatal period. Along with the evidence
of the effect of epigenetic mechanisms on gonadal hormones that influence
sexual differentiation during development. (Morgan & Bale, 2011). This study helps strengthen the epigenetic
argument of homosexuality because of the effect that was found from stress in
previous generations and gene expression in subsequent generations in regards
to dysmasculinization of behaviors. Despite
these advances, there is still future research that needs to be done. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">7)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Future Research<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">In their paper titled “Homosexuality via Canalized
Sexual Development: A Testing Protocol for a New Epigenetic Model,” Rice,
Friberg, and Gavrilets (2013) explain several observations that they have made
while combing through studies on homosexuality, that can be explained better
through an epigenetic model rather than a genetic model. First, these observations conclude that homosexuality
has a substantial heritability; however it has a low concordance when studied
with both sexes of identical twins. Also, genetic markers are found in high
density, but they don’t significantly associate with homosexuality. Second, homosexuality has too high of an
occurrence among animal populations to be caused by a mutation, and homosexuality
is not affected by natural selection.
Third, genetic mutations involving androgen levels don’t seem to affect
the sexual orientation of these individuals.
The authors of this article then discuss how these different problems
can be tested to find epigenetic underpinnings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"> The
first hypothesis that the authors suggest involves the inheritance of
homosexuality and how it can be tested via an epigenetic model. The authors Rice, Friberg, and Gavrilets (2013)
predict that an epigenetic model can be tested by studying and comparing the
epigenetic profiles of “human embryonic stem cells” between heterosexual
females and males and their homosexual counterparts. They predict that there will be a possibility
of consistent differences in these epigenetic profiles in regards to sexual
dimorphic epigenetic marks, which then would make the best candidates for finding
those marks that cause the homosexual phenotype. The authors then say if this does not work,
it can be narrowed down to focus around epigenetic androgen signaling. This model could help determine where these
epigenetic marks are, or could lead to finding greater correlations between
various systems that could help with the understanding of homosexuality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"> The
second hypothesis speaks on how homosexuality does not fit with natural
selection and is too high and consistent to justify a mutation and therefore
may be explained through an epigenetic model.
The authors suggest that the best way to study this would be to use
adult stem cells from homosexuals and heterosexuals and compare them to
determine the difference in epigenetic marks that could help explain how they
developed prenatally. This would have to
be done with deceased individuals that have been preserved and prepared
properly. An alternative to this would
be to use hair follicle stem cells which can be differentiated into stem cells
of the three embryonic layers. The stem
cells will then have to be tested to see if they indeed do contain the needed
information of epigenetic markings. If
these stem cells make good candidates, then the stem cells of homosexual and
heterosexual people of the same sex can be compared. The difference that the research can search
for is the presence of “gonad-discordant epigenetic marks.” The authors say that failure to find these marks
would prove this specific hypothesis wrong, because it would mean that no
differences were found between homosexual and heterosexual people in regards to
these specific epigenetic markings (Rice, Friberg, & Gavrilets, 2013). If
these marks were found the third hypothesis could then be studied using the
same technique as above. In order to
determine the reason why mutations do not affect sexual orientation of the
individual in regards to androgen signaling.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">8)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Conclusion<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Scientists have continued to seek out the
cause of homosexuality within the human and animal population and have found
great success. The research however does
not completely explain how all of the systems and chemicals in the body work
together to create this phenotype. Much
is already known about homosexuality, but new research that is focused around
the role of epigenetics in homosexuality is beginning to help explain this
phenomenon in greater detail. Scientists
discovered physical differences in the structure of the brain between
homosexuals and heterosexuals. More
studies are linking hormonal effects, which are considered one of the single
most important determinants of homosexuality, with epigenetic controls on
hormone signaling. Genetics has also been
found to play a role through the study of genome sequencing, multiple twin
studies, and familial pedigrees. Significantly,
scientists have discovered the effect of dysmasculinization on mice via various
different epigenetic triggers that are created by stressful events during the
development of the male parent. Even
with all of this research, there is still room for future studies that can help
explain the complex intersection between gender, sexual orientation, behavior, and
physical characteristics. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br clear="all" style="mso-special-character: line-break; page-break-before: always;" />
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">References<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Akbarian, S., & Nestler, E. J. (2013). Epigenetic
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Bailey, M. J., Dunne, M. P., & Martin, N. G. (2000).
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-58068156769386345772014-07-23T08:37:00.000-07:002014-07-23T08:38:41.265-07:00Far Between Movie<br />
When I was in the first stages of coming out I was a mess of emotions. These emotions included fear, dread, and hope that somehow everything will get better. I felt lonely and I wasn't sure who to turn too. It was then that I found a series of videos on YouTube that were done by Far Between that I started feeling less alone and more hopeful. One of the first ones was the BYU It Gets Better video. <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Ym0jXg-hKCI" width="560"></iframe>
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I found out later that this video was done by the makers of Far Between. But when I was watching it over two years ago. I felt hopeful, I finally knew there were other people like me and that maybe, just maybe, I would get through this and figure out who I was and who God wanted me to become. <br />
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This next video is a compilation of LDS Family members and allies of LGBT people. It too helped me during many dark times when I was still closeted and scared of other people knowing about me. <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/I948dOw41I8" width="560"></iframe>
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As I watched more of these videos, they continued to help me understand myself as I learned about other people's experiences both similar and different from mine. All in all, I received a lot of support and help through the Far Between Project. I have grown and continue to grow each and everyday, and I have the many people in these videos to thank for their courage and love in sharing their stories. I am incredibly grateful and indebted to each and everyone of you. <br />
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The culmination of these years of videos and work have come down to a Kickstarter campaign to raise money to make the Far Between Movie. The Kickstarter video is below. <br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" height="360" scrolling="no" src="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1585836999/far-between/widget/video.html" width="480"> </iframe>
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I hope with all my heart that this new documentary can help change the discussion about Mormonism and being LGBTQIA. I hope that through these unfiltered views and experiences which come from all sides that a conversation can be started. The conversation is already starting and in a lot of cases it has devolved into shouting matches between two camps. This animosity has left a lot of the vulnerable in the middle and very sadly has led to many not being here today. It is my hope that this new documentary can help bring people together and hopefully bring us closer to where God wants all of us to be in regards to loving and understanding one another. <br />
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If you can donate, please do! If not, please share this Kickstarter campaign and together we may be able to catalyze a compassionate conversation that is so desperately needed. This is the link for the <a href="http://ickstarter.com/projects/1585836999/far-between?ref=nav_search" target="_blank">Kickstarter campaign</a> and <a href="http://farbetweenmovie.com/" target="_blank">Far Between's website</a>.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-41544109474298287332014-07-16T09:14:00.000-07:002014-07-16T09:14:19.992-07:00Help Mormons Building Bridges VirginiaHello Everyone! <br />
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To those who read my blog, this is a little bit of a change to what I usually write about. Over the past year, I have been working with the Mormons Building Bridges steering committee to help MBB get better organized on the East Coast. This past summer we joined with other Mormon groups such as Mormons for Equality in the Capitol Pride Parade. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwf992lPs-EQoubxtLIS2cXRpVH7RaaM_8eKckuQr34drKw6KGflbaQic4dpba5nKmD6S-srNBh7w1EdWISann29UrXSMtJhixN-hS0L3zbMRRnOhsiL0rlHWGuXq7wH4-aiTT5R6emo-T/s1600/Capitol+Pride.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwf992lPs-EQoubxtLIS2cXRpVH7RaaM_8eKckuQr34drKw6KGflbaQic4dpba5nKmD6S-srNBh7w1EdWISann29UrXSMtJhixN-hS0L3zbMRRnOhsiL0rlHWGuXq7wH4-aiTT5R6emo-T/s1600/Capitol+Pride.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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This parade was a wonderful success and we hope to have an even bigger contingent next year. In addition to the parade, Mormons Building Bridges in Virginia is trying to set up Hug-a-Mormon Booths at as much Pride Festivals as we possibly can this Fall. These Pride Fests include Virginia Pride, Charlottsville Pride, and Northern Virginia Pride along with others. Unfortunately, hosting a booth comes with an average cost of $100.<br />
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This is where you come in. Your donation of even as little as $5 can help MBB pay for registration fees and supplies for our booths. If you want to donate please click on the link below to the gofundme site. If you don't have the money right now, please share our fundraiser. Help us reach out to members of the LGBTQIA community and the LDS community as we work to build bridges of understanding and compassion. <br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.gofundme.com/blsdtw" target="_blank">Mormons Building Bridges Virginia GoFundMe</a></span><br />
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Thank you,<br />
Lance<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-15303309345995891182014-06-29T15:52:00.000-07:002014-06-29T16:00:52.998-07:00I'm a Gay MormonThree people recently came out publicly over these past two days one on Facebook, the other two on Youtube. Knowing how hard this is <a href="http://lanceirons.blogspot.com/2014/01/my-mormon-coming-out-story.html">myself</a>, I wanted to share their experiences in their own words. <br />
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The first is from a friend of mine who just came out on Facebook. <br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Something about life that I like, is that I can be myself, and I can express myself in my CJ kinda way. Everyone knows, that CJ is weird, and CJ will always be weird. I love my life, I love my friends, I am so blessed with my talents (one of being a talented musician, and conductor, since the very young age), one who loves working with animals, and educating every customer on proper pet care and n</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">utrition, I am one that enjoys to cook, and bake (and I have loved this since I ever looked to cook and bake). I love the outdoors, and mother nature, and being able to smell the clean fresh rain on a nice rainy day. I am grateful for the many friends that I continue to make, and that I have made. I CJ, am Mormon, and I am gay.</span><br />
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My name is Derek and I'm a Gay Mormon:
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/dsnBc5pf4G0" width="560"></iframe>
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<br />
And I'm a Gay Mormon:
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/2BntojRaFlk" width="560"></iframe><br />
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For LGBTQIA people, coming out can be one of the hardest and most transformative experiences. Not only is it a way to be more authentic with yourself and to others. It is also, in my opinion, a way to express the trust and love a person has for God. Making vulnerable a part of yourself that you have tried to keep hidden for so long can bring a plethora of emotions and uncertainties. I applaud these three for sharing their stories with all of us. I know with their words the world has become a kinder, more sincere, and better place. Thank you CJ, Derek, and Bryan!<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.030000686645508px;">Thank you for having love to show,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.030000686645508px;">allowing my soul to grow.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.030000686645508px;">I'll be your friend if you don't have any,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.030000686645508px;">you are not a gift to one,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.030000686645508px;">but a gift for many</span><br />
<span style="color: #404040; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17.030000686645508px;">(Author unknown)</span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-86304313352323322302014-06-25T08:16:00.000-07:002014-06-25T08:16:06.077-07:00Recognizing the Other's RealityIt seems the Mormon bloggernacle and social media have exploded over the past few weeks. This explosion has sent shock-waves through newsstands and onto the dinner tables of many LDS and non-LDS homes. The subsequent chaos has been a debate between two sides both claiming to be right and with many people saying incredibly hurtful and insensitive things. The amount of vitriol and ill will has left me depressed in my heart and soul, as well as sick to my stomach. <br />
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The purpose of this post is not to take a side in this debate but to relate something that I have come to understand as I have interacted with many different people both <a href="http://lanceirons.blogspot.com/2014/04/i-found-god-in-lgbtq-community.html">outside</a> and <a href="http://lanceirons.blogspot.com/2014/01/love-and-christian-imagination-way-to.html">inside</a> the church. What I have learned is the importance of realizing and recognizing the "Other's Reality."<br />
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Who is this "Other." The Other in this context is someone who disagrees with a certain group over a certain subject. The Other can also be someone who looks different, acts different, or may identify differently than the group with which the Other also interacts. These people are portrayed as the Other of the group in order to subsequently discredit and shame the Other, as a way to defend the beliefs of the group, whether they be right or wrong, in which it is felt that the Other does not belong. <br />
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In my Priesthood Class this past Sunday we had a lesson about "Encouraging someone to do good vs. Respecting Agency." Both of these topics are scripturally supported but in some contexts seem to be complete opposites. The following discussion in my class made me realize something in regards to how we all should treat those who may disagree with us or may be seen as the Other by a group or society. <br />
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The way these interactions should be done is through recognizing another person's reality. A person's reality is their unique experience in this life that no one else has. It is a place where a person's beliefs and worldview are built and I believe it is something that can be traced back to the pre-existence. Every person has their own reality. A person's reality may be influenced by the shared experiences of a group's reality making it much easier to join that group than other people. Most humans seek to belong in a group, it offers protection and stability. A person's reality can be shaped and molded by those around them but ultimately only one other person has walked by our side through it all, our savior Jesus Christ Himself. Which is how only He can be the true and righteous judge through the atonement. He alone with us has seen and experienced our reality and knows how our lives are shaped along with our ideas, beliefs, and passions. <br />
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So how do we respect someone's agency but also seek to help them choose what we believe to be right. It all comes down to "Mourn with those who mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort." Instead of preaching to someone, judging them based on our own realities, telling people how righteous we are are, and many other things Jesus condemned the Pharisees for doing. We are not only commanded, we also covenant with our Heavenly Father to comfort and uplift everyone we meet. This can only be done if the two sides can sit down together and talk without any preconceived notions about the person on the other end of their words. No judgement, just the understanding of the worth and value of the person on the other side of you and how important their personal journey is. The Holy Ghost will take care of the rest. <br />
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A friend of mine told me a story about his mission that illustrated this point. He said he noticed that the missionaries who were so focused on baptism and getting people to immediately say they believed in the church usually got frustrated and were met with little success. However, those who went out in the spirit of service, and that didn't see people as just another number to check off their list were happier and much more successful. <br />
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This friend of mine told me that by doing this he allowed himself to not only teach the investigators but to taught by them as well, both sides benefited as both grew together in the gospel. This can also and must also be done with other members of the church. There is a reason why the church has a deplorable activity rate among it's members, it's not because of the gospel of Christ, it's because of judgement and ostracism felt by those that are different. These differences could be in their opinions and beliefs, to <a href="https://www.lds.org/topics/race-and-the-priesthood">skin color</a>, to <a href="http://mormonsandgays.org/">sexual orientation</a>. <br />
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So before you place judgement on someone else, even if what they are professing to believe seems far-fetched to you. Realize that their beliefs and convictions are usually not based on whims but have resulted in many years of pondering, studying, and prayer. Before you say something think about the precious soul on the other end and how your words will either build them up or tear them down.<br />
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All people are generally good and honest and are seeking to come back to God at the end of this life. There is already too much heartache in the world without us adding more to it even if we feel it is done with our best intentions. Love should always come first from our mouths, filled with the humble understanding that we do not know everything, not even a fraction of a fraction of God's infinite wisdom or what God has in store for his children.<br />
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God works in the hearts of people both inside and outside of the church. Truth can be found almost anywhere where people's hearts are open to the whispering of the spirit. But always remember that God will never reveal something to us that we are not willing to receive. This is true for both sides of an argument. So on that note, why don't we all step back, take a deep breath, and realize we are all Sons and Daughters of God, we all believe in the church, we just may have different ideas and different convictions when it comes to certain points and that is ok. In fact most of the Doctrine and Covenants came about because of questions asked by both men and women. <br />
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Dieter F. Uchtdorf one of my favorite apostles stated in a 2012 world-wide LDS leadership training:<br />
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<b>"If we stop asking questions, stop thinking, stop pondering, we can thwart the revelations of the spirit. Remember, it was the questions young Joseph asked that opened the door for the restoration of all things...</b><br />
<b>How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know, but couldn't get past the massive, iron gate of what we thought we already knew?"</b><br />
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Brothers and Sisters I implore each and every one of you to unlock and open wide that Iron Gate of our minds and hearts. Even if things that other people say may lead you to question your previous beliefs. That's ok, not only can we potentially learn something new that God wants us to know, but we can also grow in our own faith. Doubts can be constructive in helping us know the will of God as we grow closer to Him in our journeys. I personally have faced a lot of doubt in my life, but through many nights of prayer and study I personally grew in my testimony of the gospel, the priesthood, and the restoration. I love it so much and I know that my faith would have never been as strong today if my beliefs weren't challenged, reevaluated, and then strengthened by the people I've interacted with and the ideas that I have considered. <br />
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Three Articles of faith help illustrate this point.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; text-align: justify;"><b>9.</b></span><span style="background-color: white; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23px; text-align: justify;">We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-variant: inherit; text-align: justify;"><b>11. </b></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23px; text-align: justify;">We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 23px; text-align: justify;"><b>13.</b></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23px; text-align: justify;"> We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul-We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23px;">In closing, I hope we all come to realize that there are still many things that God will yet reveal to each and everyone of us as well as the church as a whole. We are all given the opportunity and </span><span style="line-height: 23px;">privilege</span><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23px;"> to worship God according to the dictates of our own conscience. </span><span style="line-height: 23px;">Finally,</span><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23px;"> I know that as we strive to be honest, true, chaste, benevolent, and virtuous we will have the strength and courage to seek after those things that are virtuous, lovely, of good report and praiseworthy </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 23px; text-align: justify;">in all times, in all places, amongst all people. By doing this, The Church of Jesus Christ will be strengthened, all people will feel welcomed into the fold of God, and we will all move forward in the glorious work of building Zion. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 23px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 23px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Dvc2vAAjeqU" width="560"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-34888105094076118982014-06-08T16:27:00.000-07:002014-06-09T13:57:02.008-07:00The Face of God<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Come with me</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"> Where chains will never bind you</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"></span></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">All your grief</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
At last, at last behind you</div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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Lord in Heaven</div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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Look down on him in mercy.</div>
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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Forgive me all my trespasses</div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
And take me to your glory.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
Take my hand</div>
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
I'll lead you to salvation</div>
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
Take my love</div>
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
For love is everlasting</div>
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
And remember</div>
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
The truth that once was spoken</div>
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
To love another person</div>
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
Is to see the face of God.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Les Miserables"</div>
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These are a couple of lyrics from the Epilogue from the play Les Miserables. In the story a man was sentenced to many years of hard labor for stealing a loaf of bread in order to feed those who starved. The punishment far outweighed the crime and Justice chased him for the rest of his life with no mercy. Desperate and alone, filled with bitterness and hatred for the unjust nature of the system that sought to forever oppress him. He found himself in a monastery one day and the person who was the head of the monastery gave him a place to sleep and a meal to eat. </div>
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That night he grabbed all he could of value from the monastery and ran off with it into the night. Apprehended on the road by officers of the peace he was brought back to the monastery, beaten and on the cusp of being sentenced to many more years of hard labor. The head of the monastery seeing this man broken on the ground, the objects of his crime strewn next to him, had compassion on him. He lifted the man up and told the officers that he had given the man the silver and gold and in fact in the man's haste to leave had forgotten the best and most precious he had. </div>
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The head of the Monastery could have fulfilled justice by allowing the man to be arrested and his riches brought back to the monastery. He would have been justified in doing this and most people would probably have agreed with the verdict. Instead what is glimpsed is this man's example of Christ like love toward a total stranger, who stole from him after he showed him kindness. He gave him the best he had and encouraged him to not let this act of kindness end with him. This man who once was in depths of despair and one of the least on earth was given a second chance, and not only that but a way that provided him the ability to accomplish good works for others. <br />
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This man changed the life of a young girl by fulfilling a promise to a desperate mother on her death bed. He saved the lives of others and touched the poor and needy. He taught by example what it meant to live a life of Christ like service to others.<br />
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As the man died in the same monastery where he was given a second chance the mother who he kept his promise to was the one to first meet him, and the man who led the monastery all those years ago was waiting to welcome him into his rest. <br />
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This beautiful story, that I left vague on purpose, can probably be played out thousands of times across human history in many different religions and cultural traditions. It represents the power of Charity and it's ability to affect the lives of many from a single act. As I pondered this, I realized that the history of the world is filled with stories of people who are trodden down and oppressed. Stories of people who try their best and ultimately to not accomplish their goals. There is certainly never enough love in the world. <br />
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I am humbled to be standing on the shoulders of giants both famous and nameless who have worked so hard so that my life today can be better than the trials they had to endure. What sets these people apart. They represented the best of humanity because of the love they had for those around them. <br />
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The head of the monastery became an example of Christ as he gave the man all he had and refused to condemn him. Even if you don't believe in Christ all people can recognize the power that comes from love and service.<br />
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We ourselves can be examples of Christ. We become examples as we serve others and love those around us unconditionally. Not only can they see Christ in our lives, we will also be able to "See the face of God" in their countenances. Christ truly did suffer and die for us. He paid the ultimate price in order for us to receive the ultimate gift, which is the foundation of love and service that will continue with us into the eternities. "To love another person is to see the face of God," and in this I feel is life Celestial. <br />
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Thank you everyone who marched in the Pride Parades these past few days. Not only do you bring me hope and joy. I know you all touched the lives of thousands as you proclaimed Christ's love for all. I am grateful to be among so much amazing saints of God. </div>
</span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-83475487805417417572014-05-28T09:47:00.001-07:002014-05-28T09:47:48.566-07:00Gay/SSA and Mormon? Some Advice Are you gay, lesbian / experience same-sex attraction and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? If you are, I know the dissonance and pain you may feel between how you feel towards people of the same sex and your faith. It may seem almost insurmountable the disconnect between the two. How can I be a Mormon and gay. Do I have to give up the church and it's teachings and eventually be with someone of the same-sex or can I just work really hard and be the best I can be and my same sex attraction will go away and I will be heterosexual, be married in the temple, and have a great life. Do I need to go the celibate route, live alone the rest of my life, and God will reward me in the eternities? These questions I hope to address in this blog post.<br />
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Growing up gay and Mormon all of us knew and know that ultimately we would have to make a very important choice in our lives. This choice would be one where we would either trust in our leaders and live a a celibate life or, God willing, have a mixed-orientation marriage. These choices both seemed bleak but for me I felt that if it was God's will it would all work out. So I suppressed my feelings and would not accept their reality. I had low self-esteem and I had a fear of being outed. I was afraid that this dirty secret that I had hidden up would somehow surface expose me and destroy my life and my relationships. This I can imagine happened to many of you or is currently happening to you. For me it lead to a very dark time one where suicide seemed the only option to my pain and anguish. For many of us sadly that became their end in this journey of mortality. So what are we to do. I have seen people reject the church and it's teachings completely. I have seen people try there best and be miserable in the process, and people who are actually quite successful and happy. <br />
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The advice I give is my own and may not work for everyone. Ultimately everyone needs to work with God to find their own unique way through mortality. I offer four steps in the process of accepting your reality and moving in the direction God would have you go. <br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #0b5394;">1.</span> </b></span>Come out to yourself and to God. <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>2.</b></span> Come out to close family and friends when the time seems right. <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>3.</b></span> </span> With the help of God, learn about all possible paths in your life. Even ones you may be extremely uncomfortable with. <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>4.</b></span> Make a decision with God on how to proceed with your life. It may be for a short time it may be for a lifetime but commit to God and remain prayerful and trusting in His guidance. <br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>1. Come out to yourself and to God. </b></span><br />
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Using my own experience I hope to convey what it is that helped me. Starting from puberty I felt a desperate struggle inside of me of what I presented to the world and what I felt. The months and years went on and through my trials I began to realize something. I had never asked God about what he felt about me. Truthfully, I had just assumed from what I implied from my priesthood leaders and society in general. One day, I decided I would find out for myself. I wrote about the experience in my coming out story which at the beginning of this blog.<br />
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"I kneeled down one night and prayed to my Heavenly Father. I asked him if these feelings were acceptable in his eyes and whether or not he still loved me even if I was attracted to the same gender. What followed would change my life. A wonderful, indescribable warmth filled my chest and spread to the rest of my body. I knew at once it was the spirit and that God accepted me for who I was and would always love me. All my life I had not only lived in fear of others rejection but God's rejection. I found out, beyond a shadow of doubt, that God loved me and accepted me for who I was. I came out of that spiritual experience with the knowledge that God accepted me."<br />
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So my first piece of advice is not to assume how God feels about your attractions. Ask him yourself, develop that relationship with him and find out that he loves you unconditionally. This changed my life and led me down a path of healing and I know it can change yours. Even with God's acceptance, it still does not answer many of the other questions, but it can provide a foundation to build one's life off of. <br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>2. Come out to close family and friends when the time seems right.</b></span><br />
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The next step I would recommend is one that could take a very long time. This step involves, with the help of God, learning to accept yourself and then ultimately coming out to your family or close friends. Research has found that the process of coming out is beneficial for the man or woman who does so. Not only will it strengthen your self-esteem it will also make the relationships you have with others more genuine. When you have a core group of family or friends you have come out to it can then help stabilize you not only emotionally and personally, but also spiritually as well. I understand that for almost everybody this is something that is very difficult and terrifying. Sharing something you have kept secret for so long and that has negative connotations in Mormon culture lays bare to everyone a place that is raw and can be easily used to harm you. But this is a necessary step. <br />
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If now does not feel like the right time, wait. Ask God what he thinks and be patient. If you do not feel safe sharing this part of yourself with family, colleagues, friends, or church members. I would recommend some support groups such as Mormons Building Bridges, USGA at BYU, Affirmation, NorthStar, etc. It's important to find someone that you can share with who won't judge you or put you down. Mormons Building Bridges has been building a roster of LGBT friendly people in wards throughout the country that also might be a good place to check. http://mormonsbuildingbridges.org/roster/<br />
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Ultimately do what is most comfortable to you and come out in a safe environment. I promise that although it may be the scariest thing you may ever do. It will also be one of the most freeing experiences that you will ever have. Trust me, a weight will be lifted off of your shoulders. Even if others do not take it well. You will feel much more genuine and much more true to yourself and God. <br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>3. With the help of God, learn about all possible paths in your life Even the ones you may be uncomfortable with. </b></span><br />
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The third recommendation that I give is to find out what to do next. I have seen two polarized sides when it comes to this and not very much people in the middle. Although there are some. One side talks of the importance of following the Prophets, Apostles, and the official policy of the church whether it be through a mixed-orientation marriage, which is no longer recommended because of the negative consequences of the decision, or celibacy for the rest of your life. The other side tells you to be true to yourself and have a same-sex relationship and get married if you are able. What I see as a problem is that sometimes people on both sides see each other as enemies or lacking in one respect or the other. Some on each side say that they are right and everyone else is wrong. But what does God say to you on this matter. If our hearts and desires are pure he says, "Therefore, ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh receiveth;and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened." 3 Nephi 27: 29.<br />
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My advice is to go to our Heavenly Father and ask Him yourself. I encourage everyone to learn from both sides, learn of the struggles and failures but also the triumphs and successes. One can do this successfully using a computer but also personal experience. Some websites to check out are www.ldsvoicesofhope.org and voicesoflove.org.<br />
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I grew up thinking that LGBT people were immoral deviants who I should never associate with. Come to find out after following many promptings from God. They were actually just normal people. Just as moral or immoral as straight people. Learn in safe environments about either side. I encourage you as you go on this journey of learning and growing to not hold anything back from Him. Do not put qualifiers or exceptions, trust in Him and let Him teach you and lead you anywhere He sees fit. Follow the Law of Chastity when learning about this and always seek to have the spirit with you. <br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>4. Make a decision with God on how to proceed with your life. It may be for a short time, it may be for a lifetime, but commit to God and remain prayerful and trusting in His guidance. </b></span><br />
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The answer might be one you felt like you should do all along. It might be completely different. It might bring fear, it might bring hope and joy. If it be from God he will provide a way, he promises this, the fruit will be good and God will sustain you. If ultimately it is not the way God wants you to go, you will have confusion, a loss of clarity, and the fruits of those actions will be bad. Ultimately I encourage you to have faith in God and know that He has a plan for you that will bring you happiness and that God will provide a way for you to accomplish it. Follow the law of chastity as it applies to all members and relationships, God is not a respecter of persons. Maybe if it is God's will you will marry a person of the same-sex and have a deep and loving relationship with them, and build a family together, or you may be asked to go the opposite route. He even may ask you to wait and remain celibate. Remember to trust in God's will for you.<br />
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Some people may say that God will never say anything against what the prophets and apostles have said. However we know in the scriptures that this is not the case. When Nephi was told to kill Laban in the Book of Mormon. This action was murder, plain and simple, something that all prophets have said is a grievous sin. But God had Nephi do it because he had a greater plan in the action. Ultimately, God is the place from where all truth flows. Christ due to the atonement is the light of truth. The Apostles and Prophets are men, which means that they are imperfect and they may use their own understanding until a new revelation from God comes. Although they are called of God they ultimately are not the source of all truth. You all are entitled to personal revelation for yourself. God will guide you as you pray on the words of the leaders of the church. <br />
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This process will take time. It has taken me many years and each step was long and filled with ups and downs. I promise you that those trials will strengthen you. Looking back on my life now I realize and have grown to understand through my trials what Peter spoke about in 1 Peter 1:3-10<br />
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3) Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,<br />
4) To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,<br />
5) Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.<br />
6) Wherein ye greatly rejoice, through now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations. <br />
7) That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, through it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:<br />
8) Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory. <br />
9) Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls. <br />
10) Of which salvation the prophets have enquired and searched diligently, who prophesied of the grace that should come unto you:<br />
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The trials of my faith have been more precious than gold. I have grown closer to God and I have gained greater insight and understanding in my life through those trials. I know that God loves each and everyone of us and that he seeks that best for each of you. This decision is between you and Him. I can't tell you which direction is best for you because I don't know your reality. There is one person who does and that is Jesus Christ. <br />
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That decade of my life between puberty and when I turned twenty years old was a definite trial of my faith in God. Whether He knew me and whether He actually cared was my struggle. Peter writes "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth" My trials are much more precious to me than anything I have ever experienced and they have led me to a place of love, happiness, and joy that I would never have imagined just two years ago. I found my joy in a place I never expected that I would. Whatever trials lie ahead of you I know that God will be with each and everyone of you as you work out where He wants you and where your happiness in his Kingdom is. I encourage you all to remain active in the church. Whether your path leads to celibacy or a loving relationship with the man or woman of your dreams, whether they be of the same sex or not. You have many people cheering for you on earth and in heaven and I know God will never fail you.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-11907738166818669942014-04-27T14:10:00.000-07:002014-05-28T09:49:29.694-07:00I Found God in the LGBTQ Community. <br />
I have been thinking about writing this post for a while. Since my coming out I have truly experienced an outpouring of love and support of which I am tremendously grateful. My journey of coming out started in November of 2012 and has led me to places and people that I never would have imagined knowing and experiencing that night I came out to my parents. God truly is wonderful and patient and has touched my heart in ways I could have scarcely comprehended just a little over a year ago. <br />
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After coming out to my parents, I attended my Spring Semester at school and I endeavored to start coming out to very close friends of mine. This was harder than I had anticipated. Keeping something secret for eleven years and hoping it would go away is hard to talk about. It was a difficult but also transformative process in many ways. I started feeling like I was becoming a more genuine person as I shared this part of myself with others. Not only that but I felt closer to God. I felt God was pleased with me being honest with this part of myself. I began walking through my day to day life with a renewed vigor and hope. I felt like a burden was beginning to be lifted off of me and that the Atonement of Christ was working in my life to lift that self-inflicted burden.This brought a spiritual healing that I most desperately needed. I felt God prompt me in my day to day life, I felt like I was becoming a better person and closer to God. <br />
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One day last year, on a normal day I felt God prompt me in a direction that I had not anticipated. I was prompted to go to a meeting of my school's LGBTQ organization on campus. This was something that left me confused and nervous. At this time I had only known a handful of gay people and then not extremely well. I had never been taught any overtly anti-gay things. What I had learned was that marriage was between Man and Woman. I also heard the youth make gay jokes making it seem like it was something to be mocked, scandalous, or dirty. This compounded with homosexuality being a taboo discussion in LDS congregations and that no older gay people that I could tell were in my ward. So I automatically assumed, just like I feel many other people do, that LGBT people were sinners that have shunned God and that they were devoid of natural love and were lost in the lusts of the flesh, which created in me an internalized homophobia toward myself. I hated myself because I was one of those awful sinners. Coming out allowed me the opportunity to push off this burden of self-hatred, but I would soon find out that God had so much more for me to learn about others as well as learning about myself.<br />
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Going to the meeting left in me a certain anxiety because of what I had heard about gay people. I felt scared that I would be tempted and be led down a path that would be destructive to my soul. All these things jumbled in my mind and put a fear in my heart. Even with all this opposition I followed the prompting. I went to a meeting and luckily saw a friend there who I was able to sit with. So we sat together and the meeting began. <br />
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I was at this point incredibly nervous. Here I was sitting in a meeting with <b>gay people</b> as if it was a disease that I could catch. The thing that I took most from the meeting surprised me. This surprise came from how normal everybody seemed. They laughed and joked like everyone else and we actually talked a little about The Hunger Games afterward. It was an experience that surprised me more than I think I anticipated. These people treated me well and we talked and socialized. I also found out that there were other LGBTQ Mormons like me. <br />
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I eventually was led to find another gay Mormon. This experience became the most touching and powerful spiritual experiences of my life. This experience is very private. The fact that I had this experience is one of the reasons I know that God brought me down the path that he did and it truly reinforced my faith and devotion to him. <br />
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But God wasn't done with me yet. I felt very welcome by everyone, much more than I had ever felt while in college. I was invited to parties that actually turned out to be the most moral parties that I had ever seen in college. We ate ghost peppers, played games like catchphrase, and watched movies. The company was wonderful and the food was great. Really for one of the first times in my life I felt like I truly fit in and was accepted. This made a truly stark contrast to what I was led to believe and what I thought was truth in how gay people were. They were normal people who were just as bad or as good as heterosexuals there was nothing sinister or evil about them. However there seemed to be something that was different, something that I knew God wanted me to learn from them. <br />
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As the weeks and months went on I was invited to be a volunteer at the Equality Virginia Commonwealth Dinner. I accepted and was interested to see how the dinner would go. It was going to be the largest gathering of LGBTQ people and allies that I would ever have been too. The purpose of the dinner itself was both a place to commemorate exceptional LGBTQ people in Virginia and also a place for political fundraising toward various causes. It wasn't the politics or anything so worldly that caught my attention. I still was trying to figure out more of what it was God wanted me to learn. Something else much deeper and richer touched my soul at this meeting. <br />
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I felt a powerful love that filled the whole room. It was a unique kind of love that I had never experienced not even in a church congregation. The spirit filled my soul and testified of it too me. Thinking through it later I realized that I felt no judgement from the people in the room. As I thought on this I realized that many of the people sitting at the tables in that room had experienced pain and abandonment from their families. The majority had been forced from their congregations and places of worship for the soul reason of being born the wrong way. These people understood the sharp knife of judgement and hate toward them. They felt the pain of being abandoned left for nothing and treated as less than human. <br />
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This treatment from others in my view taught them what love really is. Love is something that is unconditional it is something that doesn't see sexual orientation, race, or creed. It is something that looks beyond earthly prejudices. It isn't love the sinner hate the sin. It is pure and simply love that sees no judgement. As I looked out on that group of people. I saw people that are as Christ taught "the least of these." In God's great mercies whether they realized it or not. He had taught them through their trials what true love really means. <br />
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I had found Christ among them. <br />
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Never in any congregation had I felt the same love and lack of judgement as I felt there. It was something that was very moving. The only time I had felt that same type of love was from God himself when I was on my knees crying to him to take this away from me. When I was seeking to accept myself and when God spoke in my heart his acceptance for me. <br />
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This was when I knew what I saw that was different in the people I had met and got to know. In a way the people of the LGBTQ community understood better in their journeys on this earth, what love is. Every person I met were in different stages of life and all had there imperfections and challenges, but this one thing seemed to resonate in them in a more profound way than most other people I have known. <br />
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A certain scripture comes to mind that connects with this experience it comes from 1 John 4: 18-21 it reads:<br />
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"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear:<br />
If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?<br />
And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also."<br />
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<div class="" style="border: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" uri="/scriptures/bofm/moro/7.45">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span class="verse" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 1px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"45 </span>And <span style="list-style: none;">charity</span> suffereth long, and is <span style="list-style: none;">kind</span>, and <span style="list-style: none;">envieth</span> not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.</span></div>
<div class="" style="border: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" uri="/scriptures/bofm/moro/7.46">
<span style="background-color: white;"> <span class="verse" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 1px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">46 </span>Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—</span></div>
<div class="" style="border: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" uri="/scriptures/bofm/moro/7.46">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 22px;"> </span><span class="verse" style="border: 0px; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px 1px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">47 </span><span style="line-height: 22px;">But </span><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px; list-style: none;">charity</span><span style="line-height: 22px;"> is the pure </span><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px; list-style: none;">love</span><span style="line-height: 22px;"> of Christ, and it endureth</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 10px;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px; list-style: none;">forever</span><span style="line-height: 22px;">; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. If ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity,"</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Moroni 7: 45-47</span></div>
I think the part of Charity that most, if not all there understood was that true love, Christ like love, endures forever. Many had felt the sting of family members taking away their love for them on the basis of their romantic orientation. Many saw religious leaders preach the love of Christ from the pulpit and then tell them they did not deserve his love in private. But God's love is never ending and never changing and the atonement reaches toward all. They truly have endured all things, and have hoped through adversity.<br />
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Judge not, that ye be not Judged. Matthew 7:1<br />
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Only God can judge, to us we are only commanded to love and accept our brothers and sisters where they are, who they are, and who they love and want to spend the rest of their life with, they are all Sons and Daughters of God. This is a wonderful video of how one woman learned from God that all she needed to do was to love unconditionally her gay brother and son. <br />
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Other good resources,<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: OpenSansLight; font-size: 14px; line-height: 24px;">LDSwalkwithyou.org</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: OpenSansLight; font-size: 14px; line-height: 24px;">mormonsandgays.org</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: OpenSansLight; font-size: 14px; line-height: 24px;">http://affirmation.org/</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: OpenSansLight; font-size: 14px; line-height: 24px;">http://northstarlds.org/</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: OpenSansLight; font-size: 14px; line-height: 24px;">voicesoflove.org</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: OpenSansLight; font-size: 14px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: OpenSansLight; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 24px;">"As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion and outreach. Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender." Quentin L. Cook</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-48939906084963426422014-03-06T14:35:00.001-08:002014-05-28T09:50:25.929-07:00An Open Letter to LDS Members and Priesthood Leaders <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
This is an open letter to all members and Priesthood Leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This letter is about a Young Man that I know who is going through a very difficult time. This is a real person who is going through real challenges. Many people like him have suffered and are currently suffering in the dark. This story is all too common and affects many people and families within the LDS Church and outside the LDS church. I implore you to read this and realize that there are children who are going through the same ordeals in every stake and in a good portion of our congregations. This was specifically written for a particular stake but I think it can apply to almost every stake in Zion. <b> </b><br />
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To members and Priesthood Leaders,</div>
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I have recently been in contact with a young member of the church within your stake. I won't name any names and I have been given permission to share a little of his story. This young man is currently in his senior year of high school. He is a wonderful young man with a strong faith in God. He recently came out to his family, friends, and church leaders as being gay. According to his account of what he is experiencing after coming out there has been very little Christ like sympathy coming from many people in his life. His parents have been un-accepting of him and his father has threatened to kick him out of his home. He has described to me a very antagonistic atmosphere where most family home evenings are spent discussing his sinful nature and his destiny for eternal damnation. He has been regarded as disgusting, deviant, and revolting. </div>
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I do not doubt that his family loves him. It sounds like his mother is seeking to understand what he is going through. Unfortunately in regards to this issue there is too much misinformation that people have grown up on that is hard to reconcile. Many members have been taught their whole lives that Homosexuals would not be found in our congregations and that they are sinful, unnatural, and antithetical to God. His parents have felt that this is a choice that he has made when that simply isn't true. If they were to realize that he didn't choose this they would have a greater compassion for him. </div>
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His Bishop has expressed love for him but has a hard time understanding what he is going through. He has been asked to not take part in the youth program, his bishop says it is because he has graduated from it, his father says it's because he's gay. He has described the bewilderment and discomfort of many of the members when he came out. He doesn't feel comfortable at church and usually wants to leave after sacrament meeting. </div>
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Along with what's happening at church, at school he has been openly mocked and ridiculed for being gay. He has become the victim of bullying many times. Luckily he has a group of friends that are very supportive of him.</div>
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This young man because of the pressure and hurt he is receiving has been contemplating suicide. This suicidal ideation seems to be stemming from the constant negative and hurtful comments and feelings that are coming from his home and ward. He has expressed his willingness and want to follow God's will but it seems people think that because he is Gay it is impossible for him to do so. </div>
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I am bringing this young man to your attention because of the seriousness of this issue. I do not believe he is the only one within your stake who is feeling the same ostracism, hurt, and pain from the people that should be at the foremost for expressing love to them. <br />
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I have spoken with many LGBT Mormons, unfortunately most of them are inactive. This isn't because of their "sinful nature" or an act of rebellion, it's because of the ignorance and pain they have felt from the members of their wards. These children of our Heavenly Father have expressed a deep desire and want to come back and sing the songs of Zion with the saints of God. They also want to be open with their sexual orientation while there. I have experienced this as well. When an LGBT, SSA person within our congregations is not open with this part of themselves. They feel isolated, they feel that their relationships are not genuine and that they are living a lie that they are telling through omission. It is a deeply painful and lonely experience.</div>
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There is always a constant fear that if anyone found out they would be tossed aside and thrown out for something they had no choice in. There are many young children in your congregations who feel this exact same way. Children who are precious and pure and who love God, love our Savior, and want to follow him. </div>
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These children instead of hearing love and compassion from the pulpit, the only time homosexuality is mentioned is with negativity, and is discussed as a sinful nature that is antithetical to God. These children are told that they are akin to murderers and pedophiles, that they are somehow diseased and disgusting. (Yes Priesthood leaders have said this including prophets and apostles). These pure and precious children, some as young as 10, hear this and their souls are horribly wounded. Their precious beautiful souls are afflicted and damaged by these members and priesthood leaders. They become afraid to tell anyone because of the terror that the words of others have created in them. </div>
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<i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">(On a side note, I am a worthy and practicing member of the LDS church who completely sustains and respects my leaders. I do know that people look at the world through the lens of their own personal experience and can be mistaken or have a different understanding born of their upbringing. And that's ok, God works with imperfect people and the church has since moved away from those previous statements regarding homosexuals as they have learned more about the plight of LGBT members. This reversal is starting to take hold among the general membership and of that I am grateful. A group I highly recommend is Mormons Building Bridges. MBB is a grassroots group that seeks to build a bridge between the LDS and LGBTQ community. They have a Facebook Group that I recommend people check out.)</span></i></div>
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These wonderful children are those that Christ spoke of when he said that, whoever would offend them it would be better that a millstone be hung around their necks and they be cast into the depths of the sea. A wonderful talk given by Robert A Rees describes the way this hurt and pain can be rectified. </div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">"Part of what it means to be a Christian is that through the grace of Christ we have the capacity to imagine what it is like to suffer as another person suffers. It is impossible to do this if we have anger, hatred or revulsion for the other. Such imaginative projection is possible only within the context of love. Thus, those who revile and persecute homosexuals, who treat them as if they are flawed or have some kind of sinister agenda, cannot possibly take on their suffering, cannot possibly hope to feel what they feel, but those whose compassion is inspired by Christ, can feel, at least to some degree, what it must be like to be anathema to society. We can imagine what it must feel like to be taught to hate our own bodies, to be condemned for feeling what we naturally feel, to be denied normal fellowship within Christ’s kingdom, and to want to blot out our deep soul suffering through suicide."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, instead of members of his familiy and church seeking to use the grace of God to understand how he feels and the pain he's going through. He has been met with unkindness, hatred, and even misguided counsel that doesn't fit with reality.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">I told him to read my blog post of my coming out. He did and asked as well if God accepted him and loved him for who he is. Immediately he said he felt an outpouring of the spirit of love from God completely the opposite of what he has been feeling from members of the church. Never had he been told by his priesthood leaders or parents or members to go to Heavenly Father for guidance in regards to this. Too many times it's only God who expresses love for these children. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">I am very passionate about this because I have felt how he feels. I too am gay and have felt the bitter sting of the words of others. Children should not be taught to despise their God given bodies. A child should never feel that if they were truthful they would not be loved by those they care about. The church and the leaders have failed in this regard, many children besides the young man I have spoken of have been kicked out of their homes by their families and bullied to the point of suicide. And sadly</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"> many of them are lost to us forever. All their potential blown away from the barrel of a gun, the </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">bitterness</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"> of an overdose, or the shock of oncoming traffic. Their souls destroyed and helpless, left ragged and torn from the words of their priesthood leaders and members of their congregations and families. They feel that God doesn't love them. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">These are the words of Mary Griffith whose Son Bobby Griffith committed suicide because of the pain he felt from his mother who refused to accept him. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">“ I realize how depraved it was to instill false guilt in an innocent child's conscience, causing a distorted image of life, God, & self, leaving little if any feeling of personal worth.”</span><span style="color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"> </span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">― </span><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/144729.Mary_Griffith" style="color: #666600; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-decoration: none;">Mary Griffith</a></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Their souls are precious to God and he knows each one of them. Jesus Christ taught love, compassion, mercy, charity, and patience. He was never against anyone. The one's who He spoke the most against were those who </span>unrighteously<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"> judged the people who were deemed unworthy, and treated others with disdain or enmity.</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"> Christ however taught a simple way, Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and love thy neighbor as thyself. Simple, love is the solution. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">This love is not a judgmental love or loving from afar. This love requires action, if we are to follow the example of Christ and take upon ourselves his name. To serve others we must hear their stories, learn and listen. Christ takes care of everything else and will lead us to what we must do. This does not mean to briefly mention it during a talk or lesson, this means actively seeking out those who have been hurt and trying to fix the wrongs committed. This means standing up and saying in your meetings not just the words, God loves everyone, which is true and very unspecific, but that God loves all his children no matter what race or creed you belong, no matter who you are, and yes no matter what your sexual orientation or gender identity is. Mary Griffith wonderfully expressed these sentiments in a speech (This is part of the condensed version from the movie "Prayers for Bobby," and the real speech with no changes from me. This speech is about her story of accepting her son and his death.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Homosexuality is a sin. Homosexuals are doomed
to spend eternity in hell. If they wanted to change, they could be healed of
their evil ways. If they would turn away from temptation, they could be normal
again if only they would try and try harder if it doesn't work. These are all
the things I said to my son Bobby when I found out he was gay. When he told me
he was homosexual my world fell apart. I did everything I could to cure him of
his sickness. Eight months ago my son jumped off a bridge and killed himself. I
deeply regret my lack of knowledge about gay and lesbian people. I see that
everything I was taught and told was bigotry and de-humanizing slander. If I
had investigated beyond what I was told, if I had just listened to my son when
he poured his heart out to me I would not be standing here today with you
filled with regret. I believe that God was pleased with Bobby's kind and loving
spirit. In God's eyes kindness and love are what it's all about. I didn't know
that each time I echoed eternal damnation for gay people each time I referred
to Bobby as sick and perverted and a danger to our children. His self esteem
and sense of worth were being destroyed. And finally his spirit broke beyond
repair. It was not God's will that Bobby climbed over the side of a freeway
overpass and jumped directly into the path of an eighteen-wheel truck which
killed him instantly. Bobby's death was the direct result of his parent's
ignorance and fear of the word gay. He wanted to be a writer. His hopes and
dreams should not have been taken from him but they were. There are children
like Bobby sitting in our congregations.
Unknown to you, they will be listening to your 'Amens' as they silently
cry out to God in their hearts. Their
cries will go unnoticed for they cannot be heard above your 'Amens'. Your fear
and ignorance of the word gay will soon silence their cries. Before you echo'Amen' in your home or place
of worship, think and remember... a child is listening."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<pre style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;">Mary A Griffith</pre>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14.079999923706055px;">“As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. Let us be at the forefront in term</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14.079999923706055px;">s of expressing love, compassion and outreach. Let's not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender,"<br />– Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles</span>Fom the website mormonsandgays.org.<br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">Thank you for reading this letter, I hope it will help spur others to action as Quentin L. Cook exhorts us to do. I call upon everyone regardless of religious belief or lack thereof to be more active in making our congregations and society a safe place for LGBT people both young and old. So that they may be able to follow the spirit and become the children of God that God intended them to be. Let's replace fear with love and misunderstanding with compassion. For we are all in need of the grace of God and we are all dependent upon the ultimate sacrifice that Christ made for us. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">Thank you for your time and God bless you in your endeavors. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-33633355462577213132014-01-29T08:23:00.000-08:002014-05-28T09:51:37.766-07:00Love and the Christian Imagination: a way to Understand Others who are Different as Taught by Christ. Hello Everyone,<br />
<br />
After I recently came out on this blog I have been overwhelmed by all the positive responses and wonderful declarations of support. I am planning on writing more on this blog about many different topics that are important to me. However with school starting up I may take a little longer to update the blog. <br />
<br />
So in the mean time I thought I would post a wonderful talk given by Robert Reese Ph.D. an active Latter-day Saint who has been an ally for LGBT Mormons for a long time. This talk gives a very thorough and wonderful insight into what it is like to be an LGBT and Christian. He calls on both sides to build understanding and love for the other. He also speaks on an interesting subject that I am guessing the vast majority of people probably haven't thought of before. I encourage everyone to read this talk. I hope that it can open hearts and promote greater love and understanding for all of God's children. Enjoy! <br />
Lance<br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Love and the
Christian imagination </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">~ Robert A.
Rees, Ph.D.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Part of what it means to be a Christian is that through the
grace of Christ we have the capacity to imagine what it is like to suffer as
another person suffers. It is impossible to do this if we have anger, hatred or
revulsion for the other. Such imaginative projection is possible only within
the context of love. Thus, those who revile and persecute homosexuals, who
treat them as if they are flawed or have some kind of sinister agenda, cannot possibly
take on their suffering, cannot possibly hope to feel what they feel, but those
whose compassion is inspired by Christ, can feel, at least to some degree, what
it must be like to be anathema to society. We can imagine what it must feel
like to be taught to hate our own bodies, to be condemned for feeling what we
naturally feel, to be denied normal fellowship within Christ’s kingdom, and to
want to blot out our deep soul suffering through suicide.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Reviewing the sad history of homosexuality among the Mormons,
I conclude that where we are today as a Church and as a people, though in many
ways advanced from where we have been, can best be described as a failure—a
failure of faith, a failure of courage, a failure of imagination, and most of
all a failure of love.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I want to talk about two aspects of that failure today—the
failure of imagination and the failure of love. I don’t think one can have a
truly mature faith that isn’t to some degree graced by imagination. We don’t
often speak of imagination and Christ in the same breath, but I read the
gospels as the product of a great and fecund imagination. It isn’t just the
inventive language, the subtle irony and humor, and the fresh narratives that
flowed from his expansive heart and mind that make Jesus of Nazareth such great
imaginer, but especially his capacity to imagine each of us caught in the
snares of sin, lost in the tangled wood of mortality, each uniquely in need of
love, mercy and grace. Beyond this was his god-like capacity to imagine each of
us as glorified beings, each of our futures a reflection of his present. Only
such an imagination, I am convinced, could have emboldened him to descend into
Jerusalem on Palm Sunday and ascend to Calvary the following Friday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">If we share some of Christ’s imaginative gifts, as I believe
we all have the capacity to do when we take on us his name, then we can use
such gifts to</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">expand his work in the world. We can imagine not only that,
but how, we can be better disciples than we are and the Church a better
institution than it is. The Church I imagine, like Joseph Smith’s view of God,
can be “more liberal in [its] views and more boundless in [its] mercies than we
are ready to believe.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">The way in which I believe we have failed you our LGBT
brothers and sisters is that we have not used our Christian imagination to try
and understand your experience or to understand our stewardship in relation to
you. Instead of seeing you as Latter-day Saints who have made heroic efforts to
conform to Church requirements, we have instead characterized you as rebellious
and</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">unrepentant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Instead of seeing you as exercising faith in promises made by
Church leaders and therapists that if you were only sufficiently faithful, you
could change your core identity, we have tended to see you as willfully
disobedient and unfaithful.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Instead of
honoring the often heroic efforts you have made to prove to God and the Church
that you were worthy of such a miraculous promise of change, we have accused
you of not being sufficiently righteous.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Instead of
applauding you for spending years and in some instances decades in therapy
trying to deal with your depression, despair, and existential angst over your
identity, we have accused you of not being sufficiently valiant.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Instead of
seeing you as people who have made amazing sacrifices to fit in with your
family, friends and congregations, we have stereotyped you as lustful,
narcissistic Sybarites bent on indulging in and celebrating a “life style” that
we have labeled outrageous, deviant, and predatory.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Instead of
seeing you as desiring the Mormon ideal of fidelity in marriage, we have
characterized you as desiring something unnatural and uncivilized.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">In short, instead of seeing you as fully human, we have
tended to see you as alien and other.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">We have failed to imagine what it must have been like for you
as children or adolescents when you first recognized that you were different
from your peers and the societal norm you were expected to conform to and how
frightened you were of telling anyone about your feelings. According to
the recent survey of 1,600 Latter-day Saint homosexuals conducted by Dr.
William Bradshaw and his colleagues, on average, participants report a ten-
year gap between the time they first realized their romantic or erotic
attraction to those of the same sex (around age 12) and their first disclosure
of this to another person (around age 22). We have failed to imagine the
exquisite fear and loneliness you must have experienced during that long,
lonely decade—or how painful it was when you did finally muster the courage to
tell someone, only to discover that they rejected you, driving you deeper into
your loneliness, despair and alienation.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Nowhere has
our imagination failed us more than in our refusal to place</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ourselves in
your lives, in your hearts, your minds, and your bodies, to imagine how we
would feel and act if we were asked to do what we have asked you to do—forego
all romantic love, intimate affection, erotic expression, marital companionship
and parent-child relationships for the duration of your mortal lives. Failing
to consider the complexity of same-sex orientation and identity, we have
encouraged (and even pressured) some of you to bind yourself to another person
for whom you have no such desires or hope of any. We have also failed to
imagine how it must be for you to suffer opprobrium, denigration of character,
and alienation from the families, friends and congregations you most want to be
a part of. We have failed to imagine how you feel on Sunday mornings when you
want to be worshipping with your fellow saints and singing the songs of Zion.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Finally, we
have failed to imagine the despair, the hopelessness that has led so many of
you to take or attempt to take your own lives.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">In a talk I gave over twenty-five years ago when I was bishop
of the Los Angeles Singles’ Ward—addressed to the heterosexual members of the
ward--I cited Gerard Manley Hopkins’ poem, “As Kingfishers Catch Fire,” in
which Hopkins says that each of us</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Acts in God's
eye what in God's eye he is—[that is,]</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Christ. For
[he says] Christ plays in ten thousand places, Lovely in limbs, and lovely in
eyes not his</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">To the Father
through the features of men's faces.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">What Hopkins
means is that Christ as our advocate takes our part, acts on our behalf before
the Father, letting his light shine through our features and faces so that the
Father may see us as Christ sees us—lovely in limbs and eyes (that is, body and
soul), in spite of our weaknesses, limitations, and sinfulness.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Since we have
the light of Christ within us, since we take on his character when we are born
anew through him, thus becoming his children of light, then beyond expressing
who and what we are, we also express who he is. Christ justifies us to God, and
it is through His grace that when we act before the Father, in a sense we
become Christ, because his light shines through us. Christ plays in ten
thousand places and through many times ten thousand faces which he makes lovely
to the Father through his grace. Those faces Christ plays</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">through are
both heterosexual and homosexual. He would bring us all to God.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">The Gospel of
St. Matthew shows us that Christ intends for us as his disciples to imitate him
in this way—that is, that we are to see one another as he sees us, to
consciously engage our imaginations as he employed his so that we, like him,
can see the very essence of one another’s being, in Latter- day Saint terms,
see the light of Christ in one another’s faces. When we do this, our only
response is to love one another with as pure a love as we are capable of manifesting.
As the novelist, Francisco Goldman says, “The great metaphor at the heart of
the Gospel According to Saint Matthew is that those who suffer and those who
show love for those who suffer are joined through suffering and grace to Jesus
Christ.”</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I concluded my remarks to members of the Los Angeles First
ward with these words:I pray the Lord will bless us as brothers and sisters in
the Kingdom of God, as those who have taken upon us His name, that we will let
Christ's light shine through our faces, that we will make of our community a
wholeness, that we will seek that common ground of</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">peace of
which Paul speaks, and that we will learn how to love and serve the Lord by
celebrating who we are, his heterosexual and homosexual sons and daughters.
Because we are all his creatures, we are all born with his light. I pray that
we may let that light shine among us, that it might grow, that we ourselves
might be its beacon, and that, as a Church and as individuals, we not only will
pray to the Lord for greater light and understanding, but that we will turn
ourhearts with greater charity, love and acceptance of all of those whom we
might consider strangers.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">In Matthew 25 Christ puts Himself in the place of the
stranger--of the homosexual, if you will, saying in effect, "Inasmuch as
you have done it or not done it unto the least of one of these my homosexual
brothers or sisters, you have done it or not done it unto me" (25:40).</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">What does this mean for you, my homosexual brothers and
sisters? I wish I could say that you just have to be patient with us, your
unimaginative, incomplete and wounded fellow saints, that you just have to
continue to</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">endure our spiritual immaturity as we strive to become more
enlightened and more loving, but the fact is, you too have this role to
play—you must also see us, those who have despised and rejected you, who have
belittled and banished you, who have failed to find you in our imaginations—you
must see us in the same way Christ calls us to see you. That is, even as we
continue to cause you to suffer, you are called to imagine our lives--our
fears, ignorance and prejudice that characterize our un-Christian treatment of
you. That above all is what it means to be a follower of Christ. With him, we
are to replace, ignorance with knowledge, error with truth, injustice with
justice and, most of all, hate with love.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I know it is not just for you to have to respond in this way
to an institution and individuals who have treated you in unkind, unjust and,
yes, un- Christian ways, but if we are to find our way out of the labyrinth we
are in, which I think we must do together, it is incumbent upon us all to do
what Christ calls us to do. It is through this work that we reform both
ourselves and our Church. It is in this constant reforming that we prevent both
ourselves and the Church from becoming idols. Thus, in order for this to happen,
we have to get out of our social and religious ghettos, see one another’s real
lives and try to understand one another’s lived experiences.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I love the
old Shaker hymn titled “More Love,” which includes the following lyrics:</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">If ye love not each other in daily communion, How can ye love
God whom ye have not seen? More love, more love;</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">The heaven’s
are blessing</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">The angels
are calling O Zion! More love.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">If in the
Church we can imagine change beyond policy and practice, beyond culture,
perhaps even beyond currently accepted doctrine, we may become agents of change
and thereby help transform the Church, perhaps liberate it from some of its
less enlightened traditions, and even glorify it in new ways, thus
demonstrating that we are indeed ready and anxious to receive on this subject
new revelation regarding "great and important things pertaining to the
Kingdom of God." As the humanist Ihab Hassan says, "Liberations come
from some strange region where the imagination meets change. . . . We need to
re-imagine change itself, else we labor to confirm all our errors." Or, as
Saul Bellow’s Henderson says, “All human accomplishment has this same origin,
identically. Imagination is a force of nature. Is this not enough to make a
person full of ecstasy? Imagination, imagination, imagination! It converts to
actual. It sustains, it alters, it redeems!”</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">In his powerful essay, "Notes of a Native Son,"
James Baldwin speaks about the rage he felt as he went through a series of
humiliating experiences as a young man living in New York [City]. He was
refused service in a number of restaurants simply because he was black.
Finally, the accumulation of humiliations caused him to react with a kind of
unconscious violence . . . . I saw nothing very clearly but I did see this:
that my life, my real life, was in danger, and not from anything other people
might do, but from the hatred I carried in my own heart."</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Later in the
same essay Baldwin concludes, "In order to really hate white people, one
has to blot so much out of the mind--and the heart-- that this hatred itself
becomes an exhausting and self-destructive pose. But this does not mean, on the
other hand, that love comes easily: the white world [and here one can
substitute the straight world] is too powerful, too complacent, too ready with
gratuitous humiliation, and above all, too ignorant and too innocent for that .
. . . Hatred, which could destroy so much, never failed to destroy the man who
hated and this was an immutable law."</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Twenty-one years ago I gave the keynote address at the
Affirmation national conference in Palm Springs. In that address, I made an
analogy between what was happening in the Church in relation to homosexuality
and what had transpired in American and Mormon culture in relation to blacks. I
quote from that address: In a letter to his nephew, James, written on the
hundredth anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation, Baldwin writes,
"There is no reason for you to try to become like white people and there
is no basis whatever for their impertinent assumption that they must accept
you. The really terrible thing, old buddy, is that you must accept them. And I
mean that very seriously. You must accept them and accept them with love. For
these innocent people have no other hope. They are, in effect, still trapped in
a history which they do not understand; and until they understand it, they
cannot be released from it. . . . We cannot be free until they are free."</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Have any of you ever considered that part of your work for
humanity might be teaching heterosexuals how to love better? It may not be fair
that you are asked to do this, but I believe that it is God's will that you do
so because, like blacks and other hated groups, you have experienced the
deprivation of love in a profound way, and that depravation has given you a
gift which, if you will use it, can bless your lives and the lives of others.
Having been subject to rejection, ostracism, and even hatred, you may
understand something about the importance of love which others do not. I
believe that it is in rising through our suffering to such love that we attain
holiness.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I would like to close with a story that illustrates this
principle, Raymond Carver’s “A Small Good Thing.” In this story a couple, the
Weisses, make preparations to celebrate the birthday of their only son, Scotty.
They order a cake from the local bakery. On the day of the party the boy is hit
by a car and lapses into a coma. The parents wait anxiously by the bedside day
after day but their son never awakens and, after a short time, dies. The baker,
unaware of the accident, continues to call the parents to come and pick up the
cake. Grieving, they do not return his calls. He continues to call and leaves
abusive, threatening messages on their answering machine. Finally, one night
they go to the bakery to express their outrage at the Baker’s behavior. When
they tell him that their son is dead, he is embarrassed and ashamed. A simple
man, he does the only thing he can think of—he offers them some of his
fresh-baked bread. As they sit in the darkened bakery eating, he reveals his
own life of loneliness, of being childless, of working sixteen hours a day
baking thousands of wedding and birthday cakes and imagining the celebrations
surrounding them, none of which ever touch his life personally.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Finally, he
takes a fresh loaf of dark bread from the oven, breaks it open and offers some
to them. “Smell this” he says, “It’s a heavy bread but rich.” Carver writes,
“They smelled it, then he had them taste it. It had the taste of molasses and
coarse grains. They listened to him. They ate what they could. They swallowed
the dark bread. It was like daylight under the florescent trays of light. They
talked on into the early morning, the high, pale cast of light in the windows,
and they did not think of leaving.”</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">This is a
powerful story of loss, grief, death, forgiveness, and most of all of love. It
is also a story of redemption. The association in the story of bread with light
reminds us of Christ who is both the bread of life and the light of the world.
Partaking of the bread of life each week, we too taste of his light. (Here I
would add that if you do not feel comfortable partaking of the sacrament in a
Latter-day Saint congregation, find one that welcomes you and partake of it
there.) It is a small good thing we do and is akin to all of the other small
acts of understanding, forgiveness and compassion we give to one another. Such
acts of love, it seems to me, have their genesis in the light of Christ which
is in every one of us. It is our sacred calling to magnify that light in our
hearts and souls and to carry it to and receive it from one another as we
receive the emblems of Christ’s sacrifice, that is, with gratitude and hope.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">In the name
of Jesus Christ. Amen.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">More love,
more love; The heaven’s are blessing The angels are calling</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">O Zion! More
love.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-43050876904337205682014-01-13T12:36:00.000-08:002014-05-28T09:52:19.405-07:00My Mormon Coming Out Story This blog is written from the perspective of a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have tried to put my words and my story into terms that all Christians and those of religious affiliation hopefully will understand. I also hope that those who are not religious may be helped by my story as well. <br />
<br />
My Mormon Coming Out Story<br />
<br />
So I have decided to officially come out and say something that most of my friends and my immediate family already know about me. I am same-gender attracted, or I am gay. I have known I was gay since I was about 10 years old, at that time I could tell that I was a bit different from the other boys at my school. As other guys were starting to develop interest in girls our age I didn't seem to care at all. During this time, I was friends with both boys and girls, and I was content with that. When I started realizing I was different, I basically ignored those feelings initially because I was at the end of elementary school and I didn't understand sexuality up to that point except for what society told me that guys were only ever supposed to like girls and girls were only ever supposed to like guys.<br />
<br />
It wasn't until I had reached middle school that puberty really hit hard and my attractions became more noticeable, which in turn made me react by suppressing my sexuality. Before in elementary school, I was a very mentally healthy boy who loved spending time with friends. I was as social as any boy in elementary school is. I was a little shy around strangers, but as I warmed up to people, I quickly lost that shyness. With the transition into middle school, I started to become quiet. I started finding it difficult to talk with people when before I never found it to be an issue. <br />
<br />
The transition between elementary and middle school is typically a difficult transition for children. This was especially true for me. A lot of my old friends from elementary school were in different classes than I was. The building was new. The teachers were new. I had to navigate what felt like an alien world to me. This was all the more challenging because I knew I was different and I refused to accept that reality. The refusal to accept it spiraled me into a long period of very low self-esteem. I was pretty sure my parents suspected I was gay at a very young age and being the loving parents that they were and not having a complete understanding about what I was going through, they tried to coax the gay out of me whenever I displayed any signs of non-masculine behavior, although this never happened often. <br />
<br />
As middle school continued I tried to reconcile my faith and my sexuality. I am Mormon, which I think a large amount of people reading this blog will be. For people who aren't that means that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As part of that, I go to church every Sunday, and I was in the Youth Program. When I was young, I was surrounded by a super heterosexual culture. The boys would be flirting with the girls all the time, I just followed along but didn't participate because I didn't see the point. So every Sunday never failed to remind me that I was different. So instead of focusing on the social aspect of church I focused my energy toward scripture study, prayer, and church attendance.<br />
<br />
At about the 7th to 8th grade I was in complete suppression of my sexuality, which caused my self-esteem to continue to plummet. At this time, I fought to find out why I just didn't like girls the same way other guys liked girls. So I made the excuse that the reason why I didn't like girls at the time was because I was preparing for my mission and that I wouldn't date anybody until at least the age of 16 anyway if not 18 or after my mission. I would take girls to school dances and have a great time with them but have no desires other than to have a good time with friends. <br />
<br />
So I coasted . I put all my suppressed energy into other things. I did a lot of acting when I was younger and was in many plays with a private acting troupe, I also performed at my school where I played lead roles through middle school. I focused on my studies and got straight A's. Also, I put my greatest attention into my spiritual life. I felt deep down that God didn't make me this way and that maybe if I prayed more, did more service, and participated in everything I could, I would gain an attraction to girls like I had with guys because I still denied that that attraction was permanent and therefore I thought it to be unnatural. <br />
<br />
There were a few girls through this experience that I really liked and enjoyed spending time with, but it was exclusively a close friendship and I had no desire for nothing more. So I kept going through my pre-teen into my teenage years. I was still suppressing my sexuality, and therefore my identity. As people grow as adults their personality grows naturally through their experiences. Mine felt forced into a box that felt unnatural and suffocating. I felt that I would be rejected by my friends and my family if they knew. I was afraid that God hated me because of who I am and it seemed like everything at church pointed to this idea. This was because there was no one there to speak on the subject, and if it was spoken about, it was spoken very negatively. So I assumed that God was against it.<br />
<br />
Near the end of my freshman year, I started developing depression. I don't remember exactly when it started. I just remember my world getting darker and darker. My life seemed to start being caught up between two worlds; times where I felt fine and days where I would sink into a pit of unexplainable sadness and fear. I grew distant from people. I felt alone and my thoughts turned inward. I had always been a quieter kid, but now it felt so pronounced and horrifying. I felt everyone was going to hurt me. I would find excuses to lash out at others especially those people who cared about me the most.<br />
<br />
There came a point where only two people kept me going, and that was God and a wonderful friend. My depression lasted for a while and into my sophomore year. Around my sophomore year, I dropped into one of the worst phases of my life. I decided that it would be better if I could just die. My life felt like a never-ending pit of despair with no exit. Their seemed to be no other way. I felt like I was unworthy of love. I had seen and heard how gay people were thought of in my church, and everywhere I went. They were dirty, sinful, deviant, unnatural, without hope of salvation. That was who I was. Through no fault of my own, I was gay. I had been caught up in believing that God didn't love me because he hadn't taken my attractions away from me. <br />
<br />
One day I got home before everyone else in my family. I had made the decision to kill myself, and I was on my way to do just that. There wasn't anything lethal at my house except pills, so I decided to do an overdose. That whole day, I was praying to God to take everything away from me. I told him that I wouldn't kill myself if God would just fill this horrible hole that I felt inside of myself. Continuing to pray, I passed by the telephone on my way to the cabinet, and as I did I had strong and powerful impression to call my friend. I stopped and looked toward the phone. At this point, I really had no other avenue. I was going to kill myself or seriously damage my body. So I dialed up my friend and talked to him. After an hour or so, this person was able to convince me not to kill myself. He truly showed a Christ like care toward me and showed me that Christians could care for someone like me, and if other people cared maybe God would too. For the first time in a while, I walked away from the cliff that I had been prepared to jump off of. <br />
<br />
I began to accept myself. Slowly but surely, I started walking out of the haze of my self-hatred and depression. Life started to be worth living. I started enjoying the simple things and delighting in what Heavenly Father had blessed me with. I still hadn't told anyone else about who I was except for a few people, but even then it had been kind of a confusing explanation because I really didn't understand it myself, and I had no role models or people who felt the same way I did. So at the time, I thought I was bisexual because I could love women (although it was a brotherly love and not romantic). The years went on where I felt that I was still stuck. However, what was new was that I accepted who I was. But just accepting myself wasn't enough. I needed others to accept me, which I felt they would not. <br />
<br />
This view I felt was very legitimate considering how the word gay was used in a derogatory way in regular converstaions. How people would talk about gay people as if they were something different and sinister which was very dehumanizing for me. It frankly terrified me for the longest time that I would be treated less than human. But, even through all this haze, I felt God continue to move me forward in my life and help me find my way through my confusing and difficult childhood.<br />
<br />
Throughout this time, I sought to date a small number of women. However, nothing came out of any of these relationships, kissing was awkward and weird, and I felt once again as if something was wrong with me. At this time, I still felt that I was bisexual, because I still held onto a hope that maybe I could find a way to escape who I was. <br />
<br />
It wasn't until my freshman year of college that I started reaching out to see if there were others like me. I started finding blogs and other materials. A source of wonderful hope for me and strength was the It Gets Better videos from BYU students. Here were LGBT Mormon students, my age, who were seeking to do God's will like I was and who had found a loving community that understood them. Many of them shared their coming out stories and how they found that most people were accepting and truly interested in their well-being. Amongst all these good stories however there were examples of people whose families rejected them and turned them away. Their were some who went through extreme trials, and almost every single person on the video had contemplated suicide just like I had. These shared experiences gave me comfort and helped me know for the first time that I wasn't alone. <br />
<br />
The one thing I found most interesting was how they talked about receiving a confirmation from God that they were loved and completely accepted by him, sexuality and all. They felt the loving power of Christ comfort them, even when others around them hated and reviled them. God still knew who they were individually, and he loved them unconditionally. I decided to try this myself. <br />
<br />
I kneeled down one night and prayed to my Heavenly Father. I asked him if these feelings were acceptable in his eyes and whether or not he still loved me even if I was attracted to the same gender. What followed would change my life. A wonderful, indescribable warmth filled my chest and spread to the rest of my body. I knew at once it was the spirit and that God accepted for who I was and would always love me. <br />
All my life I had not only lived in fear of others rejection but God's rejection. I found out beyond a shadow of doubt that night that God loved me and accepted me for who I was. I came out of that spiritual experience with the knowledge that God accepted me. This acceptance gave me the courage to eventually come out to my family and friends.<br />
<br />
Thanksgiving 2012<br />
About 8 months after the revelation of God's acceptance, I decided to come out to my family. With my twin brother (who is gay), together we told our parents what we had known for a long time. And they accepted us, albeit after many questions from my mother who wanted to make sure that we were actually homosexual. They both accepted us and said they would love us no matter what because first and foremost we were their sons. I was very grateful for their reaction, considering how many LGBT children, including from LDS homes, get thrown out on the street for confessing something that they had always had. <br />
<br />
With my parents and God as my support, I started coming out to more friends that next year. As I did this, I felt a wonderful spirit, and I knew God didn't want me to live in fear anymore. The weeks that followed were wonderful and exhilarating. I felt more comfortable around people I came out too. Not only that I felt my friendships strengthen through this process. I also began enjoying coming to church more and felt more love, peace and, fellowship among the members there, even though I have only come out to a couple of them before this post. <br />
<br />
One night a few months after this process started, I found myself praying about where God wanted me to once again go. After all the changes that had begun to happen in my life I wanted to see if there was more in store. During this prayer, I had an impression to ask God if I was completely homosexual and not bisexual. I had begun to question whether I was bisexual. I think this came about because of my renewed confidence and affirmation from God and also my previous experience with women. So I decided to ask God if I was indeed completely homosexual. As before I felt a surging rush of warmth in me and utter joy filled me heart, and I knew that God was waiting for me to finally make this realization and once again God completely accepted me and loved me.<br />
<br />
And now I come to this blog post a little more than a year after coming out to my parents. After a lot of meditation and prayer, I have decided to write this blog in the hope that someone may read it and find hope in it, that a family member of someone who is LGBT may read this and understand the importance of love and dialogue in their relationship with their family member. I am not writing this blog to stake a position. I am writing this blog in the hope that it might save someone's life, whether they are a child or an adult, who feels alone and unloved not only by their parents but by God as well, that they may not be turned away from their families to live homeless on the streets. I am here to tell these children, teenagers, adults; whomever they may be, that God truly loves them and that the only feeling that should be in anyone's hearts when it comes to this is love, acceptance, and the knowledge that God has a plan for each and everyone of us, that God created people with same-gender attraction for a reason, and that he has a greater wisdom than we could possibly have on this earth. So let's discuss it. Let's listen to each others stories and hopefully develop the charity that Christ showed each and everyone of us as he suffered and died for us in Gethsemane and was lifted on the cross in Calvary. For He truly did die for each and everyone one of us not just straight people, not just gay people, for God is no respecter of persons and his love and grace are over all. He died for everyone on this earth and he loved each and everyone of us equally. How much more then should we do the same and follow his example to everyone not just people who are like us. <br />
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As I look at the diversity of the people of the earth, I see God's amazing grace and imagination. I see his tender mercies, and I see him moving his people toward a greater understanding and greater love through these diversities. I encourage everyone to take a moment and reflect on my story. I hope that you will have gained something from it, and I hope it has encouraged each and everyone to go out into the world seeking a better understanding and a better love for all of God's children. I was saved from a potential suicide because of an impression and a loving friend. Many others, however are not with us now and many still need our love and support. <br />
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We only have one life to live. Let's all fill it with love, kindness, and service. It's time to come together so that there may be no poor among us; whether they be poor in spirit, in love, in understanding, or in forgiveness for past wrongs, all are entitled to the tender mercies and blessings of God and his son Jesus Christ there are no exceptions. <br />
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Once again thank you for reading my post. If you think someone may find peace and acceptance in reading this post please share it with them. If not I hope that it inspires everyone to be more loving and kind in their service to their fellow families, friends, neighbors, and all humanity . I hope that you all find, faith, hope, understanding, and love on your lifelong journeys. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-284142788447910988.post-91693854478174938482013-12-22T19:23:00.001-08:002014-01-13T12:22:13.472-08:00First Post!<br />
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Hello, my name is Lance Irons and this is my blog. I know it sounds kind of cheesy but I needed something to start this post. I am a 21 year old faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am studying to be a Psychiatrist and have been accepted into medical school. I have a diversity of interests including music, history, religion, politics, policy, a little bit of sports interest, and most especially I have an interest in what it means to be Human. What is it that sets every person apart. What is a person's story? Everybody has their own secrets, their own triumphs, their own regrets. This is what makes us all infinitely important and life truly worth living. These are some subjects I think I may put into this blog. I say may because I haven't written it yet and I have no idea where this journey will take me. If you decide to become a reader, Great! If you decide you'd rather read something else, that's great too! I wish everyone success and happiness in life and I hope that all may find peace on their lifelong journeys. <br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01690831894617662476noreply@blogger.com0